About rantingsenior

Biography

I urge all purchasers of natural peanut butter to store it upside down both before and after opening it. This tip has enriched my life immeasurably! The oil works its way into the peanut butter and first stirring is much easier. The consistency is maintained for a long time.

Name:
Lee Goldberg
Sex:
Male 
Local Time:
24 Nov 2017 04:59

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Date Joined:
04 Oct 2011
Last Visit:
20 Nov 2017 (3 days ago)
Page Viewed:
3,471 times
Friends:
15
Followers:
8
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
1
Forum Posts:
0
Stories:
108
Badges:
10

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Topic: Change of hands
Posted: 17 Mar 2013 17:30

Though I have hung up my pen, I wanted to take the opportunity to say three things:

(1) Thanks to the entire staff at Storiesspace for the great work that they do.

(2) Good luck, Sherzahd, though I don’t think that you’ll need it. My encounters with you have left no doubt in my mind that your energy and talent will propel Storiesspace to new heights.

(3) Please, please, please, everyone. Store your natural peanut butter upside down. It will enhance your peanut butter experience immeasurably.

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Stories Published By rantingsenior All Stories »

An Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) Christmas

Dedicated to my precious cousin, an IBS sufferer, without whom I would never have the keen appreciation that I do for my own regularity. ***An IBS Christmas*** It probably does seem myopic juxtaposing this bad topic with icons of Christmas cheer and joy. But I am not a boorish bloke and IBS is not a joke. I wish to raise awareness, not annoy. When peristaltic ebbs and flows that do...

Added 20 Nov 2017 | Category Poetry | Votes 5 | Avg Score 4.8 | Views 46

My Christmas Stocking

All last year you griped and moaned while I would hide or just get stoned to make it through your constant shrill henpecking. Then you finally sneaked away the morning after Christmas day and drained the funds we had in our joint checking. After you had packed your junk and ran away with that young punk I was awash with conflicting emotions. Sometimes I longed for your return sometimes...

Added 25 Oct 2017 | Category Poetry | Votes 10 | Avg Score 5 | Views 113 | 4 Comments

The Robin Hood of Christmas

A man I knew of quite strange mind would rob the disabled and blind but then give to the very sick and needy. People thinking he was mad would ask “How can you do so bad?” He’d say ”It’s easy they can’t chase or see me.” And he’d go on with some disdain to justify and thus explain how all his actions were in fact quite good. His victims in the handicapped niche were in...

Added 22 Dec 2016 | Category Poetry | Votes 9 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 199 | 1 Comment

A Scathing Reply to Dirty Martini’s 'The Conning of America'

How sad the best that we can do is picking these pathetic two for President of our United States. One a bozo quite uncouth the other cannot tell the truth A sad choice to have on our voting plates! Yes it’s fun to laugh and dump all over clownish Donald Trump who won’t release a single tax return. A cad who smiles and offers scotch then grabs a woman by the crotch? It...

Added 26 Oct 2016 | Category Poetry | Votes 11 | Avg Score 4.73 | Views 261 | 5 Comments

The Ghost of Christmas Sideways

The apparition was angry. “Stop saying that! I am not the Ghost of Christmases Past! I am the Ghost of Christmas Sideways! I show you how past Christmases and the rest of your life might have been different…if only you had been standing ten feet to the left!” “All I said was that you’re kind of like the Ghost of Christmases Past with a bit of a twist. What’s so bad about that? What’s the...

Added 14 Dec 2015 | Category Humor | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 398 | 6 Comments

The Christmas Visit

“You cannot be me from the future!” I shouted. “That is just not possible! Besides… you’re old and ugly!” “Deal with it!” the old man replied. “I am future you! And I can prove it.” “How?” “By telling you things that only you could know,” he said. I took another hit of gin from my hip flask and stared at the seventy-something guy standing in front of me. If this was me forty years...

Added 14 Dec 2014 | Category Humor | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 783 | 4 Comments

Say “No!” to Toys for Tots….”Yes” to Toys for Tottlers!

To heck with “Toys for Tots!” Instead think “Toys for Tottlers!” Because tottlers (seniors who walk unsteadily and just tottle along for whatever the reason) are much needier than kids. Their friends have all died or are so out of it that they may as well be ornaments dangling on a tree. So the tottler frequently faces Christmas alone. Don’t buy a teddy bear and put it in some box at a...

Added 20 Dec 2013 | Category Musings | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.82 | Views 711 | 8 Comments

Santapedia: The Story of Guido (a.k.a. Prancer)

My most vivid memory of my evening with Prancer is not his admission that he was a murderer. Though unnerving it was consistent with his obvious paranoia. The most vivid memories are of what happened when I committed the faux pas of offering Prancer chopsticks with his General Tso’s chicken. Prancer was volatile. He could be aggressive one moment, but gentle and submissive the next. How I...

Added 06 Nov 2013 | Category Humor | Votes 20 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,639 | 9 Comments

You’re Not Bipolar If You’re Never Up!

“Three tee-hees do not constitute a manic episode! You are not bipolar,” Dr. Childers repeated. “You are depressed.” He seemed a bit irritated. “But they were three consecutive tee-hees!” I protested. “Not three tee-hees interspersed throughout the day like before!” “That doesn’t matter,” Dr. Childers retorted. “But since this tee-hee episode does seem to be significant to you,...

Added 02 Jun 2013 | Category Humor | Votes 20 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 896 | 5 Comments

Of Mites and Men

Guess what. In the larger scheme you’re not very important. You’re like a little dust mite that occasionally elicits a big sneeze, but ultimately winds up squished in a HEPA filter or on its back in a vacuum cleaner bag with its little legs flailing in the air. Your primary legacy will be your carbon footprint, which will continue to expand after you die. If you’re buried in some cement...

Added 20 May 2013 | Category Musings | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 664 | 6 Comments

Friends Comments

CKAcres
Posted: 30 Dec 2014 06:21


As the last grains of sand dwindle from the 2014 hourglass,
we ready ourselves to mark the end of another year.
Turning it over, the hourglass will once more be full, starting another year.
As we welcome in 2015 may you be blessed with peace,
good health and your heart over full with love.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
bunz
Posted: 30 Dec 2014 04:16


Happy New Year!
CKAcres
Posted: 19 Dec 2014 07:19
Three wishes for you this Christmas.

Peace.
Your heart be filled with Love.
You enjoy Everlasting Happiness.

bunz
Posted: 01 Dec 2014 11:33


Hugs x
DirtyMartini
Posted: 19 Jun 2014 16:03
Just wondering if you knew the answer to this...figured he might be a friend of yours...
storiesspace
Posted: 01 Jan 2014 00:30
Happy Birthday from the team at Stories Space.
CKAcres
Posted: 30 Dec 2013 05:50
As we usher out the old and welcome in the new.
There is a certain wish, I wish for you.

May your mind be filled with inspiration and your heart be filled with love.
Thank You for a wonderful 2013.
DirtyMartini
Posted: 24 Dec 2013 22:12
Hey Lee...stopping by to wish you a very Happy Holiday Season and all the best in the coming New Year...
CKAcres
Posted: 24 Dec 2013 05:37
DirtyMartini
Posted: 12 Jun 2013 06:24
Just stopped by to wish you a Happy Holiday...I figure you're probably home celebrating today...
http://www.examiner.com/article/june12th-is-national-peanut-butter-cookie-day?cid=rss
Kari
Posted: 26 May 2013 19:32
DirtyMartini
Posted: 27 Mar 2013 17:43
Here is the truth behind how it's decided whether someone goes to Heaven or Hell...not like your piece of fiction...
DirtyMartini
Posted: 14 Feb 2013 23:08
Just stopped by to wish you a slightly belated Valentine's Day Lee...
Kari
Posted: 03 Feb 2013 06:20
love your latest story.
DirtyMartini
Posted: 09 Jan 2013 15:32
Just stopped by to give you some helpful advice...you can thank me later...
DirtyMartini
Posted: 22 Dec 2012 19:35
Happy Holiday Cheer to my Stories Space friends, and their families from DirtyMartini...
Kari
Posted: 20 Dec 2012 07:52
Happy Holidays Lee!
Kari
Posted: 09 Dec 2012 11:16
For you Lee;

Kari
Posted: 08 Dec 2012 13:21
Kari
Posted: 06 Dec 2012 19:52
Hi Lee....thanks for adding me to your friend list.

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