About steffanie


Welcome to the warm and "slightly demented" world of Steffanie stories.

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23 Jan 2018 04:19
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Date Joined:
14 Oct 2010
Last Visit:
11 Jan 2018
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Stories Published By steffanie All Stories »

Fishy Yarns

'twixt the moorland villages of Clapptrap and Skandal, there runs a lovely stretch of the Twaddle. The lively river flows through the limestone gorge at Poppycock Cut, and once past Yakking Mouth it discharges its clear waters in spectacular fashion at Fayrelady Falls. Tis a sight for sore eyes to behold such wild, foaming torrents - I courted my dear wife there and it's a good spot for trout. ...

Added 03 Oct 2016 | Category Adventure | Votes 9 | Avg Score 4.78 | Views 375 | 8 Comments

Editor's Pick Savages

A female has moved into my territory, a healthy young blonde, ripe for breeding and bearing good child. She could be my mate, once I've captured her, subdued her and proved my worth as her man. Sounds easy enough, but this female is small, flighty and quick. One stray sound and she's off like the wind, racing through shadows to seek cover amongst the ruins and rubble. I've no hope of...

Added 01 Jan 2013 | Category Flash Fiction | Votes 29 | Avg Score 4.19 | Views 2,466 | 22 Comments

Editor's Pick Storybook Lovers

My storybook lover is romantic, he would never hurry his sweetheart in a love scene, but tonight I want him to... "Make love to me, darling. In one hundred words or less." "Micro fiction?" "Yes." "Get your skirt off then." I begin slowly undoing the buttons on my... "Just do it, don't describe it." "It has to be sexy." "But you're using all the words up!" "Don't shout at me." ...

Added 21 Jan 2013 | Category Micro Fiction | Votes 27 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 2,029 | 19 Comments

Recommended Read The Washing Machine Man

"Me?" I asked my sister. "Why do I have to do it?" "I think he'll listen to you." "When has he ever listened to me?" I asked her. "And what about Mum?" "Mum's too upset, she can't think straight." "Oh, OK. I'll have a go but I can't promise anything." "I know," she said. "Just try, the nurses are getting fed up with him." "I'm not surprised." "Good luck, Steff." "Oh thanks," I told...

Added 08 Jan 2012 | Category Drama | Votes 14 | Avg Score 4.93 | Views 1,546 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read JuJu Bitch

"Woman want baby. Woman want JuJu.” “What?” “JuJu. It’s magic. African magic, white or black.” “I don’t want black magic, Tutu.” Tutu smiled. “Here,” she said. “Have this.” Tutu gave me a tiny carved figurine; she explained how the women of Ghana use ones just like it to help with fertility. They carry their wooden doll at all times, usually hidden under clothing so only a...

Added 22 May 2014 | Category Flash Fiction | Votes 14 | Avg Score 4.57 | Views 1,303 | 8 Comments

Fifty Shades Of Gaye

This is ridiculous, now the boss has every girl in the department hard at it. He's getting desperate and I can scarcely believe what he's paying them all to do... trawling the Internet in search of a talented erotica author and reading embarrassing stories all day. "There must be somebody out there," the boss keeps saying. "For God's sake, find them." The boss wants a hit, inspired by...

Added 05 Feb 2013 | Category Humor | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,280 | 13 Comments

Editor's Pick Bedtime

If I do fail my exams I could get a job in a nursery looking after little kids, I'd like that and it's one of the few things I'm good at. My neighborhood child minding services are in demand, and now I'm receiving requests from mothers I haven't even met. You can't beat word of mouth as a recommendation and it's by far the best form of advertising. Mind you, it's definitely toddlers I prefer...

Added 28 Dec 2010 | Category Supernatural | Votes 5 | Avg Score 4.4 | Views 1,212 | 5 Comments


"Hello, boy." "Woof." It's Twink, actually. "Here, boy." "Woof. Woof." Watch it, stranger. Don't go getting familiar. I need to check you out first, give you a good sniffing and... "C'mon, boy. Come here." "Woof. Woof." What's with the orders? I don't think I like your attitude. This is MY neighborhood and I'm a double-hard Jack Russel. So behave or I'll... "Come on. Come here,...

Added 08 Oct 2013 | Category Flash Fiction | Votes 10 | Avg Score 4.8 | Views 1,096 | 8 Comments

Cheese And Onion Sandwiches

I don't watch much TV these days, it keeps reminding me that it's partly my fault our country is in such a mess. I'm not spending enough money to fuel our economy and when I do spend my only reward is a warning to save more to finance my old age. The newsreader says I'm using far too much electricity, oil and water, I also eat the wrong things and drink far too much alcohol in the...

Added 26 Jun 2012 | Category Musings | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,020 | 15 Comments

Miss Hot Shot

I only come into this dive of a bar for one thing, and that's not the beer. I'm hoping to catch another look at that cute little blonde barmaid, the one that works the early shift when things are quiet. Steffanie her name is and I'm planning on making a move on her soon, turn on the charm and invite her out. Simple enough plan, but this girl isn't so easy to pin down... if you'll pardon...

Added 04 Sep 2011 | Category Romance | Votes 15 | Avg Score 4.8 | Views 1,003 | 9 Comments

Friends Comments

29 days ago
29 days ago
Love to have you here
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04 Dec 2016 19:17
I know it isn't a holiday for you, but......
23 Nov 2016 20:22
Thought of you when I saw this picture, had to share.
Thank you for your comment.
07 Nov 2013 05:48
A big well-deserved congratulations on your win Steffanie...I always knew it would just be a matter of time for you to win one of the comps, you're certainly one of the most talented writers on the site...anyway, was looking for a savage celebration picture...came up with this pretty picture instead...hope you don't mind...
10 Mar 2013 20:59
Congratulations on your win in the Darkness and Light contest!
10 Mar 2013 15:35
Wanted to stop by and say hello, and wish you a Happy Valentine's Day...couldn't find a "50 Shades of Gaye" Valentine's card...and yeah, I tried...I did find a blue orange though...
14 Feb 2013 23:13

Thanks for your comment on The End. You're right, Mom did have it all figured out. She was a wise and wonderful woman.
19 Jul 2012 10:54
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