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Grenades Magic (The Last Beer)

"Sgt. Steve Stipholz enjoys a last hurrah with his squad."

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Private Rizzoli:
“Sgt. Stipholz was the kinda of guy who was always jokin’ around. He was always trying to win the rest of the guys in the squad over by telling jokes, buying rounds of beers, stickin’ up for us if the captain was comin’ down too hard. You know stuff like that. He was a pretty good guy.”

Private Fontaine:
“I remember one time.. Damn, I couldn’t stop laughing … the sergeant was trying to walk the barrel of one of the 109’s like it was a goddamn balance beam. He was kinda a klutz so, of course, he slipped and cracked himself real good."

Specialist White:
“Yeah. So we were all out last night, celebrating the last day of maneuvers. We had been out in the field for a couple of weeks and we were pretty antsy. Sarge had a group of people around him laughing loudly. This was pretty much normal for him. He liked to be the life of the party. I think that he was doing some card tricks or something. Anyway, he must have been doing pretty good because everyone was clapping and laughing and pretty much having a good time of it.”

Sergeant Vasquez:
“Last call came at about 1:45 and Steve called everyone around for one last trick. Someone called out and yelled to the bartender for one more round. One last beer for the road. While we waited, Steve jumped up on his chair and started in with his showman routine. Getting everyone all revved up for his last trick. ‘Here ye! Here ye!’ I think he was yelling. ‘Watch in amazement as I stupefy and astound!’ He was waving his hands about and everyone in the place, pretty much, was watching him.

Sergeant First-Class Nixon:
“After we had downed those last beers, Stipholz called out for three of the mugs. Said he was going to juggle them. A bunch of people groaned at that. Someone said that his kid sister knew how to juggle and it wasn’t all that impressive. Stip had a plan, though. He just smiled and said he was going to juggle these three mugs and one at a time people could toss something new into the mix. If he couldn’t keep eight things in the air (he said this was his personal record), then the bar tab was on him. Of course, this brought a huge cheer from everyone. He began to juggle.”


First Sergeant Exeter:
“I was sitting near the bar. I was just sorta watching things to make sure they didn’t get too out of hand. The boys tend to get a little rowdy coming off a two-week bivouac. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I saw Sgt. Stipholz on the chair attempting to juggle three mugs. At first he had a hard time getting the new objects in the mix because the fellows didn’t know how to toss anything to him, so he even had a chance. But they got the swing of it and it was on.”

2nd Lieutenant Donavon:
“A salt shaker… I think he had a hard time with that one since it was so small compared to the mugs, but he got it. Next came someone’s keys, an ashtray, a shot glass…
I don’t know where it came from or who had it, but after the shot glass, that’s when it got tossed in. It didn’t have its spoon or pin. Most of the people in the front were too drunk to notice. Some of the others did and tried to scramble back. Luckily, I was near the back and hadn’t really been drinking all that much. When it blew, he had it in his hand. Some bastard near me, I couldn’t see who it was, said something like, ‘I guess, grenades and magic don’t mix, do they Sarge?’


Published 
Written by Myvryn
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