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The Erotica Troll

"If you listen carefully, you can hear them log on, as they exhibit a deep whimsical snicker."

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Kandikizz51 is a writer and many of her poems and stories can be read online on various websites. Some of them can be read here on Erotica. Like many of the writers here, she has been pestered by a troll. This troll is always anonymous and tries to mimic a normal intelligent human being. If you were to look at him, he may seem to have a twinkle in his eye and a mischievous grin. However, do not let that fool you, the troll is out to wreak havoc wherever they go. She has dubbed this troll, “The Erotica Troll.”

The troll is usually a man who stands about four feet nine, but don’t let that fool you—it can be a woman. Their hair is untidy and face is dirty. They have a disfigured body with out of proportioned limbs and large fingers. Its appearance has changed because they are always slumping over their computer and typing nonstop day and night. However, beware it is never friendly or intelligent. It does nothing but grumble incoherent gibberish all day and not even its own mother can understand him.

The troll has the latest technology in its computer and does nothing but surf the net looking for its next victim. It loves working with a keyboard because it can type its words and not have to worry if anyone understood what was just said. It’s good at posting messages, often a simple response to an honest question. A response that intends to upset disrupts and just insults you.

Its brain is small so an ignorance and uncaring attitude can be seen in his messages. The messages do not match the story it just reads or anything it looked at in a forum.

You may ask yourself the question, “Why does the troll do this?” No one really knows, but the theory is that they are so sad little people, living a mundane lonely life. They have no real jobs, friends or success to speak of. So they try to live through people who are confident, strong, and successful, like those of us who are writers.

If you listen carefully, you can hear them log into a web site, as they exhibit a deep whimsical snicker. They pick out stories by saying, “Eany-meany-miney-mo, who shall I pick on today.”

They then leave what they think is an admiring comment. However, don’t let them fool you, mentally they are unable to perceive between admiration and irritation.

The troll is also a coward. Who will write just enough to get us upset, then sit back and gloat awaiting recognition. Then count the responses, because they do not have anything else to do. Some troll tries to rationalize things and say, “Awe, come on it was just a joke. Hey, can’t you realize I am just playing a game.”

As the intelligent beings here in this scenario we should just sit back and try to ignore them as they are not worth talking to. Mainly because half way through the conversation, the troll will forget what the conversation is about.

BEWARE, the troll will try and disguise themselves in many ways to avoid the dreaded moderator. Look for the following signs:

1. The first thing you will notice is that the troll has absolutely no imagination. For example, “They might leave you a comment that says, “My fourth grader can write this story better than you!” Now, get real people, just how many fourth graders do you know who have the knowledge to write erotica?”

2. The Troll loves the details and knows the rules by heart. He will recite the rules by heart and tell you where to find them. Then insult you by telling you if you want to learn how to become a better writer, email them, they will help you.

3. The Troll will never give you his real name and 98% of the time post things as anonymous. 4. For example, the troll asked one writer why she did not talk to the woman character in the story, to see how she would have liked to end the story.”
 
Now, just how is the author going to do this if, the character is a man and fictional?

5. Some trolls, will ask the same question repeatedly in different ways just to irritate the hell out of you.

6. The troll is always missing the point. They never answer a direct question. If asked, they cannot rationalize what they just said and avoid the question all together.

7. The troll is usually a sad, lonely man/woman with little or no social skills. They are unable to carry on and intelligent conversation with anyone. They are however obsessed with their IQ and feel the need to broadcast that knowledge to everyone.

You may be wondering who online is at risk for attacks of the trolls. Any message board, forum, Chatroom or newsgroup will attract trolls. If the troll was infiltrated with a group that had high IQ’s the results would read something like, 100 trolls and one regular man. They would be obnoxious and persistent until that group’s moderator removed them.

Should we be concerned about what we would suffer if a troll attacked us?

No, although fits of laughter, fractured funny bones and episodes of nausea have been noticed.

Therefore, the conclusion of this tale is that if the Troll had a brain, it might be dangerous! They are such ugly little boogers aren’t they?
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Written by kandikiss51
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