Writer's Block

‘You know why I call you Von don’t you?’

‘No you’ve never mentioned it…I know why she's Goody, that’s obvious.’

‘Von…”Voice of Nothing”…that’s what you bring to the table…nothing, you’re no help at all.’

‘WOW… you thought that up all by yourself? If you put that much effort into a story you’d probably have something on paper by now. If I didn’t bring anything to the table I wouldn’t be here…now don’t you think it’s fucking time to write?’

‘I don’t know what to write.’

‘Write something…anything, it’s been almost a week. You’ve done this the last three times. You gather up all you’re shit, set it up all nice and neat, and then you just sit there staring at the screen and do nothing.’

‘I’m thinking.’

‘No you’re not. You’re just sitting there. We’ve been at this for hours.’

‘I don’t know what to write.’

‘Something, anything, you have to write something.’

‘No I don’t…I can just put it up… I’ll write tomorrow.’

‘Write something, write anything. You have to do it every day.’

‘Who says so?’

‘We read it somewhere. Don’t you remember? I forget who said it, but they say… to be a writer you have to write everyday…I think it was someone famous.’

‘Oh OK…I see…someone famous, someone who does this for a living. Writing is their job. In case you haven’t noticed, I already have a job. I work 8 to 12 hours a day, sometimes on Saturday too. This isn’t my job.

You’re a writer… so write. Wouldn’t you like to get paid for it someday?

I’m not a writer; quit calling me that! I just do this for fun.’

‘It doesn’t feel like we’re having fun….Are you having fun…I know I’m not?’

‘…Fuck you.’

‘Write what you know. They say that too.’

‘What do I know? You know what I know…I don’t know anything.’

‘Then write your opinion on something.’

‘Who would want to read my opinion?’

‘Maybe no one, but at least you’d be writing. There’s a whole section in the newspaper, not to mention blogs, you’ve read some of them and they’re all about someone’s opinion.’

‘Maybe I’m not cut out to be a writer; nothing I write is any good, maybe I should just quit, give up?’

‘I DON’T give up, I DON’T quit, therefore you don’t quit. I’ll scream in your head all day, every day, if you try to quit without really giving it a chance.’

‘Well if you’re gonna scream in my head at least scream something I can put on paper.’

‘It doesn’t work that way and you fucking know it.’

‘Calm down boys.’

‘Oh Goody, I’m glad you’re here, maybe you can talk some sense into him.’

‘I’m always here. I know what happened. But Von is right — you really should write something today.’

‘So now you’re gonna take his side?’

‘I’m not taking anyone’s side. It’s just been such a long time since you’ve written anything, sweetie. I have an idea how about you write a poem.’

‘Yeah write a poem, they’re easy, you just make words rhyme.’

‘Poetry is more than making words rhyme Von. It’s an emotional release, it’s a feeling. Poetry doesn’t always have to rhyme. You take all your emotions and put them into words, poetry is beautiful.’

‘Oh yeah…that would be a great poem. The way he feels right now, frustrated and angry, you might as well title it “Kill Murder Death”. That would make a beautiful poem.’

‘Don’t be so ignorant. Poetry about sadness can be beautiful; some of the best poems ever written are about sadness.’

‘I know poetry is its own art form but I can’t write it, I just don’t get it.’

‘Try it sweetie…you’ll never know if you don’t.’

‘Feeling and emotions…I don’t know… I don’t do love stories and there’s too much sadness in the world already. If I write about it it would be like adding even more sadness to the world…I don’t think I can do that.’

Too much sadness? FUCK YOU! That’s a cop out and you know it, we know what you’ve already written. Remember “The Virginal Death?” That one wasn’t exactly uplifting and full of joy.’

‘Shut up. Why are you arguing with me anyway? You don’t like poetry either.’

‘Yeah but you’d be writing something. Even if it’s shit, it would be something.’

‘Everything I write is shit, it all sucks. My writing is shit, my ideas are shit, and if I wrote a poem it would be shit too. Everything I do is shit.’

‘Your ideas aren’t shit; some of them are very good and would make good stories. You have pages of ideas jotted down in your notebook.’

‘Hey I almost forgot about that… Just pick a fucking idea from your notebook and write something about it.’

‘They all suck’.

‘No they don’t and they’re not shit. They were good enough for you to jot them down. There was spark there somewhere; at one point you thought they were good ideas. You took the time to stop what you were doing and write them down.’

‘Yeah you spend more time jotting down ideas and plotting out how the story should go than you do writing the fucking thing. Just grab one of those little sparks and build a fire, a big roaring fucking bonfire.’

‘I have to agree with him, I hate doing it, but he’s right, you’re just putting it off, you really do have to start something. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad. It doesn’t have to be unique and different it just has to be yours. Write a vampire story, I like vampire stories.’

‘There are a ton of them out there already.’

‘Dracula was written over a hundred years ago and it doesn’t stop people from writing vampire stories. There’s been hundreds, no thousands of them written, why can’t he write another?’

‘I don’t want to write a vampire story.’

‘So I guess we’re back to the beginning again, are we ever gonna get any fucking thing done?

‘Shut up and just leave me alone for a while.’

‘If we do that nothing would ever get done. Without us you can’t do it and you know I’m right, if we go away you’d never write again, we are your inspiration.’

‘I’m not feeling very inspired.’

‘Waa quit your crying. I’m not gonna pity you. You wanted to do this…writing thing.’

‘This isn’t easy for me. Do you want to write a story? Let’s try that for a while…I’ll sit back and watch, and then when you’re done I’ll critique the shit out of it.’

‘How can we critique anything when you haven’t written anything? You have lots of ideas I know, I’ve heard them in here. Tell the story your way.’

‘How’s this sound… Once Upon a time, the voices just kept talking and wouldn’t shut up…’

‘Now you’re just being ridiculous, we’ve been here for hours and haven’t gotten anywhere, if you want to quit then quit…I’m tired.’

‘No wait I have an idea.’

‘What is it?’

‘Shut up let me think…’

‘It’s been a long day, let’s just pack in and start over tomorrow I tried of this shit.’

‘Shhhh… give him a minute.’

Dialogue.

Dialogue?

‘Yeah tell a whole story using only dialogue.’

‘That’s already been done, remember we read a short story…by someone, I forget who it was.’

‘So Dracula has already been done… isn’t that what Goody said?’

‘Dialogue …I don’t know It could turn out to be a fucking mess… hard to follow.’

‘Let him finish… go on dear.’

‘Remember in the restaurant last week. We overheard the couple sitting at the table behind us?’

‘Yeah the loud bitch, we knew their whole life story before desert.’

‘Exactly we’ll do it just like that…nothing but dialogue.’

‘It’ll be hard to do. You’re at least going to put… he said…she said… in it?

‘No, you said tell the story my way …. This is what I want. I’d read this story.’

‘Tell the story however you want to sweetie. It doesn’t have to be great, it just has to be yours. As long as it’s acceptable to you it’ll be OK.’

‘You really think you can write a story with a plot, conflict, characters, and resolve the conflict using nothing but dialogue.’

‘I can try.’

‘I think it’s a fucking stupid idea. If you want to write a story using just dialogue why don’t you write about us… the voices in your head?’

‘You said that was ridiculous.’

‘Well it’s a better idea than just writing dialogue.’

‘If I write about you two… people will think I’m crazy.’

‘You’re a writer sweetie, you’re already crazy…let’s go Von, he has work to do.’

‘Goody…do you really think he can do this?’

‘No of course not… it’ll be a train wreck… but at least he’s writing.’