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Learning to Fly

Dear Dad,

I should have done this so much sooner but I am a procrastinator as you well know. Sharing my thoughts with you now is the very least I can offer. Soon you won't remember my words and perhaps not even my face. Fate is cruel, stealing your memories but leaving your body healthy and intact.

From the time I was little I always felt safe with you. We had so much fun and not always Mom-approved fun, but I knew you would protect me from any harm. My favorite memory was feeling myself flying as you threw me high up into the air. I could see so far and would squeal with delight. I could hear Mom squeal as well, but not in delight. I was never afraid that you would drop me. You compared it to the flying you did as a pilot in the Air Force. For a few brief moments, I too could fly.

I turned out to be a child with so many problems but you never saw them, just my potential. Your words would echo in my head.

"If things get too difficult, remember you can fly."

I keep that sentiment with me always. Those words and lesson made me into a strong woman and helped me deal with many things.

You taught me the value of independence and having a voice to speak up with. "No man will tame you or stop you from flying. A lucky one perhaps someday will get to fly with you." 

I chose not to be tamed to always to stretch out my wings and found a worthy partner to take flight with. I know you approved of my choice. Another blessing, you taught me how to choose well.

These days I am having a hard time unfurling my wings. Your mental memory deterioration and Mom's physical health declining have weighed them down. I watch and I wait knowing that eventually, I will have to choose. Do I return to fly again or stay grounded unhappily? Painful as it is, I will give you these words I've jotted down.

Remember them as best you can and I promise that when I least want to I will return to flight. How could I not? After all, I'm your daughter and you taught me to fly. 

I love you Dad.

 

 

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