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Theater Memories Part 2

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It is the things that go wrong during a performance that usually make the best stories.

These occurred the year I was doing Wait Until Dark. I, ouf course, was the villain tormenting the blind girl in her apartment. It was a thriller but also a very physical play as the actors found out. There is one scene where the heroine knocks me out and then drags me off stage and into her bedroom.

She was almost back on stage and believes that she is safe when I leap from offstage and tackle her, it always elicited gasps from the audience. We had practiced this tackle during rehearsals and discovered that if I started from a low stance and grabbed at her ankles she didn't fall forward too fast and was able to catch herself.

Well, sure enough during one performance, I did my leap and the adrenaline gave me more power than I needed. Instead of her ankles, my hands landed on her slim waist and she crashed hard to the floor, but she didn't break character.

During our after performance get together she informed me that if not for her natural padding she would probably have broken her nose. I questioned her natural padding statement and she gently touched her very prominent breasts. She often went home with bruises during the rehearsals and would tell her live in boyfriend that I gave them to her.

In the same play, I have been doused with gasoline but I continue to torment her. I back her across the stage and begin to ascend the stairs. Now by the time I reach the second step the actress is supposed to strike a match forcing me to fall backwards.

Well you guessed it, the water got the matches wet. I could hear her furiously striking the matches in the semi darkened stage as we spoke our lines and continued climbing the stairs. We were almost to the landing when the match finally flared.

Falling backwards from the second step was never a big deal, but we were now about seven steps up. So I relaxed my body and let myself fall backwards while praying I didn't hurt myself. My mother who was seated in the front row was convinced I was going to land in her lap.

It was the minor injury I received during my second comedy was perhaps the funniest. I was playing a lecherous fur shop owner and I entered the stage just as my partner was checking out a finished coat on a very tall model.

Mindy was a very pretty and a very tall long legged girl that stood about six foot in height without her heels. When she wore her heels, she was over six foot 3 inches, I stand six foot one. Now she steps off the small modeling stand and heads stage left.

She was wearing a short skirt and a very tight blouse that accentuated her breasts. I began to follow the movement of her skirt in the manner of Groucho Marx. She stopped suddenly and turned around to speak to my partner and my forehead landed between her breasts. The audience always got good laugh out of this bit of physical comedy.

Mindy and I had dated for awhile and remained friends, so we were comfortable around each other and there was no embarrassment as we were both veterans of the stage. However, this time when my head made contact with her breastbone it hurt.

During intermission, I discovered that she had worn a standard push up bra but overlooked the fact that it closed in the front, my head had made contact with the clasp and wound up with a small bump on my forehead. She apologized while the rest of the cast was in stitches

From that performance until the show ended I would always check with her during makeup to ensure that she had worn the proper bra. This was done by my walking up to her and placing a finger against her breastbone.

"I'm just checking," was my response to the strange looks we received from visitors to the makeup room.

She and I still get a good laugh from the incident when the topic of injuries comes up.

Published 
Written by The_Count
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