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A Father's Reflection

Each and every moment is a gift that they share with me...

Today is my son's 10th birthday.

I never thought I would make it, but now, my kids are my life. They keep me from stopping.

My own father was murdered when I was five and those 'why' and 'what if' demons never leave. They also remind me of their presence at the most inopportune times.

Each birthday that reaches my son, I hope that I have been, and still can be, the father to him that I did not have. I sometimes feel that he and I are on borrowed time. That lingering feeling is a terrible burden that I wish for no one. I know I am not the best Dad. I have my flaws, but I try to guide him the best I can.

My relationship with my daughter feels different, possibly more complex. It seems like a father figure is more important for her. I cannot yet explain why, but I have my suspicions.

A couple days ago, with the perpetual room-filling smile and positive energy that he possesses, my son told me that his life was perfect. He could not imagine it being better.

Wow.

Thank you, little buddy.

Happy Birthday!

 

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