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(I Do Not Like) The Orange Man

A humorous take on the U.S. presidential race, told in the style of Dr. Seuss

Pardon me, miss, have you time for a poll?

No, not today. I'm out for a stroll.

That's okay, ma'am, while you stroll I can poll!

All right, I suppose, if you poll while I stroll...

Do you plan to vote in the presidential race?

Oh, yes! Not voting is a terrible disgrace!

Tell me a bit as to how you'll choose—
If you could, please share your views!

Well—
I do not like the orange man
I do not like his Muslim ban
I do not like his southern wall
I do not care for it at all!
Furthermore, I do despise
His tall tales and outright lies
Such braggadocio of being great
When what he's doing is preaching hate!
And another thing: I really think
He'd push our country to the brink
I fear for a future with him at the helm
Our nation, a part of his fantasy realm!
Finally, I cringe at the misogyny 
Spouted by him and his progeny
Speaking of which, it would be dandy
If Junior could tell people from candy!

So—
If you do not like the orange man,
Do not like his Muslim ban,
Do not like his southern wall,
Do not care for it at all,
Furthermore, if you despise
His "tall tales and outright lies,"
And believe he brags of being great 
While actually just preaching hate,
If you fear for the future with him at the helm,
Because we'd become part of a fantasy realm,
If you cringe at perceived misogyny 
Coming from him and his progeny,
And think a lesson would be handy
To teach Junior the difference between people and candy...
Although it is possible to infer,
Please state with whom you DO concur!

I'm happy to name the one I'd prefer
And proudly proclaim, I'M WITH HER!
Yes, I like that pantsuit gal
To us all, she'll be a pal
She seems, to me, to really care
And not be running on a dare
To top it off, she knows her stuff
No need to resort to bluster and fluff
She stays on point, presents the facts
Instead of launching hateful attacks
After weighing the options, I choose reason and poise
Over mean tweets, bad hair and a whole lot of noise
As you can tell (and the reasons are myriad),
There's just one right choice. Full stop, period 
Thank you, dear pollster, for strolling with me
And taking note of why my vote is for Hillary!

*

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