Shotgun011 & TooShy678
Sitting here and hoping I can find assurance that my doubts will finally leave with the first step being the one that’s believed in. I don’t know if I am heading down or falling from grace, and feeling those warm winds blowing here under those hard-blue skies and wondering if I am heading into the calm of an eye of a storm? Still there is no other place than I think I would rather be, though I might have doubts to where I am heading and there are times when it seems I am just passing through, or walking in space. Unknown if the end is near and still I feel the earth moving beneath my feet as it turns.
There are many times when there have been moments that have been overdue, and have been dreamt of when I have held my breath and counted to ten. Facing all as I stand tall as days turn dark and things feel like they are poles apart, and worlds seem to collide making somethings seem so surreal. After having taken it to the edge several times and knowing why, while having been blinded at times by the dark light of a new sun, and having stared into the abyss and seen all the madness while knowing I can make it on a wing and prayer if I need to and having seen those walls crumbling to dust that covers me at times.
I am no man of steel though that someone once said I was, along with having ice water in my veins as well as a heart of stone. But, then again you can’t truly live if you are afraid to die, and to some I will offer my devotion to and they will never be forgotten. There is no Hell the Devil can show me that’s deeper than my pride, and to be standing there in the flames I was brave enough to die. Just needing somebody to die and to cry for and I will rage against the dying of the light when that time comes, and put up the good fight to not go quietly into that good night. It is said that every man has his moment, and still most of the time the writing on the wall is never seen, and soldiering on I know what must be done and play the game until it is won.
There have been times when burning up and still I head on down the road making my way down the line looking for the answers to those countless questions as well as a glimpse of a new horizon under the dark light of a blazing sun to where the future seems to lie. Still there are those times when I don’t feel as if I can’t take just one more step, or how much more I can go but I know I can make it. They might have broken the younger me and it seems as though I am coming alive with a heart made of steel after having taken every kick and blow, and turned the pain into power. Having seen the meaner side of life, and having fought to be an individual with every day and hour. Which has become something rare in this revision filled world, and having dealt with all the pain and lies, giving a lion in the heart with fire in the eyes like jungles burning bright while struggling to make things right.
Heading down this long road and searching for the real thing and leaving the madness behind, and keeping the spirit alive as I find myself passing through the moon light and the dark light of the sun. Till dancing to a different drum, as I continue on down the line and remembering those things I wished for and didn’t need while I wondered where in the hell I was with a head full of doubt. It’s easy to forget those things that need to be remembered along with those things you try to teach yourself to forget, and still I really don’t need someone to offer their sympathy for my being out here following where the Tao directs and I know this is where I need and want to be. So, I will tender them my apologies for my boots are pointed away and continue on my way. Asking those I meet on the way to not get up as I am only passing through, and to others I offer: Kýrie, Eléison.
I might be called; a wanderin’ ghost, a runner, and sometimes a gin sop among other things but, then again I never have cared for their words of praise. Having me wonder if they know if there is a fine line between friend and foe, as well as love and hate? Still I continue to play with a losing hand and never fold to try and bluff my way into winning at least once, and I know there is no surrender or retreat when the bugle calls. As I stand my ground and having faced the worst while having done my best as I turn and face the sun.
Copyright: Timberwolf International LTD. March 2017 – 15
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