Beer, beer, a magical drink,

The more I drink the less I think.

If I drink a few, and that’s more than two,

My mind slows down and I don’t think of you.

It’s not that your leaving me has driven me to drink,

Nor the fact that you're dating my ex-friend, the fink.

If that were so, and I think I’d know,

I’d probably punch him in the nose then go.

But that’s not me, as you can see,

For these twelve beers should set me free.

And when I awake tomorrow with my head in the can,

I’ll blame it all on you, for it’s you I can’t stand.

I think I shall go, I’ll head out the door ,

That’s if I can stand up; nope, here comes the floor.

The moral of my tale, if you need one to hear,

Try sticking with tea instead of beer.

Yes, that will do, or it will for me,

Now I’m closing my eyes; please leave me be.