How I Lost My Wife: The Water Bed Disaster
I always hoped when we were wed
that our humongous water bed
would be our special place of carnal passion.
There whatever we might crave
we’d do upon a gentle wave
supping on our young libidos’ ration.
And so it was that we’d make love
and I’d give you a gentle shove
and watch your body rise upon the billows.
After years had passed a bit
we still made love on top of it
and then we would sleep soundly on our pillows.
But then a lot of years went by
and we enlarged in waist and thigh
covering our sheets of fine smooth satin.
One day the ever growing mass
of your big gut and my fat ass
got critical and caused the bed to flatten.
And finally on that terrible night
right after we had doused the light
I reached for you and tried to give a hug.
But we had scarfed a large rich dinner
and that made the bed compress thinner
and with a bang the force shot out the plug!
At first I thought of being burgled
but then as you and I both gurgled
the water quickly rose to a great height.
I watched your bulbous buoyant breasts
rise and fall atop the crests
a scary (yet still quite erotic) sight!
You floated down the hallway stairs
and I could see your pubic hairs
exposed since you were drifting on your back.
I managed to avoid the tide
when a small nightstand wedged inside
my hairy and quite over-sized butt crack.
The following morn they found us there
in nothing but our body hair
but you had not survived that great tsunami.
So now I drift through life alone
and sometimes touch my aging bone
while looking at your photo I keep on me.
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