Somedays I feel like diving,

out to the ocean and into the cold,

just let the waves take me,

until I naturally float.

My most morbid thoughts,

are of getting old,

it's a long hard life,

and I don't want to be around that long.

All the time I try to feel indifferent,

but what will I become,

with no passion, no anger,

with nothing to love?

All that is left is this sad, degrading carcass.

And as for my soul,

it has rotten; it's gone dark,

my very own life is falling apart.

Now that there is so much to say,

what I can think of is being mute,

let everyone have their way,

I will just stay silent until the end of days.

I feel like drowning,

but then I remember,

it feels horrible,

it's like pain into your lungs,

it's like mixing vomit and smoke,

it's like a lifelong lovely sun.

I feel like drowning,

but every day,

I drown in sorrow,

I laugh in pain,

I sulk in regret,

I remember mistakes.

I am sure it wasn't all in vain,

There must be a reason,

Why everything is this way,

I must accept,

I must realize,

everything has a reason in life.