Animal.

Fish or guitar?

Tough question, that. I'd say racing motorcycle.

Analogue (film) or digital camera?

Evening, Gypsy. It's been a while, but here I am again

Now up you must grow.
Don't be so darned slow.
Listen, ya bam,
you're gonna have to face it,
Sam, it's your turn to clear the snow!

Whipped cream.

Union or independence?

In a silent butler.
There's a violent Cutler.
He swashes buckles
and buckles swashes,
every day, his face he washes,
then he dons his big, huge galoshes,
haunts some ships and plots revenge.
Until one day, his undoing comes,
foiled again, by those meddling kids!

Before she puts on a dress that's not too hot,
she checks the weather again.
"It's been ridiculously hot, and it's such rot!"
By magic, one appears!
"Thanks, Fears."
She looks sad.
"If only."
His signature outfit, he dons.
"One day, Donnie, you'll be Dawn."
His secret spills out of his eyes,
and he goes about his day.
Empty.
The world isn't ready for "him" to be "her".

Like nothing is real,
but he's starting to feel,
is he lost, or is he about to heal?
Only time will tell,
but I can say one thing:
His shell is not empty.

Sorry, Andrew, I'm not good at crosswords unless they are really, really uncomplicated.

But could you also specify the word count for the answer, cus in a crossword, you usually know that much, and it might be helpful.

Actually, I totally forgot about that part. Silly me!

Okay, so I'm trying to make this simple as possible, since the las thread I started was a bit convoluted. Well, the premise is simple: Describe a word with accurate, but misleading clues, just as a crossword might incuding letter count, the next person guesses it, then poses their own word description. I'll start:

An instrument; typically with four strings, garners a lot of puns, basically.

Me: I'm having a great day, apart from Newpussycat.
Friend: What's Newpussycat?
Me: Whoaah Whoaah Whooaaah!

An old couple meet at a coffee shop. “Harry! How are you doing?!” “Hilda! I’m doing well.” They hug and Harry pulls Hilda’s seat out for her, removing his hat and putting it on the table. “Can I get you something?” Hilda asks. “Just my usual two cents,” Harry smiles, the love obvious in his eyes. The old woman calls out for two coffees and a slice of bitter lemon cake for both of...

Added 28 Mar 2021 | Category Flash Fiction | Votes 3 | Avg Score 5 | Views 74 | 3 Comments

I stood there, gazing into that empty, yawning abyss. I felt a strange nostalgia. A melancholy that was both familiar and unnerving. I knew this place, long ago. Time began to slow. My tears began to flow. I have arrived. Goodbye....

Added 26 Mar 2021 | Category Micro Fiction | Votes 2 | Avg Score 5 | Views 49 | 1 Comment

There’s a man with an ostrich, he’s got it on a lead; he’s taking it for a walk! I shouldn’t gawk. Now there’s a hawk and he’s going “squawk, squawk!” He coming at me. Woop, there goes my knee! The man with an ostrich, he’s got a cannon now. Ka-pow! Ka-pow! Ooft, fuck, shit, OW! For fuck’s sake, now there’s an owl! “Have you seen the news?” Then he goes for a snooze. We’re in a blender....

Added 11 Feb 2021 | Category Poetry | Votes 1 | Avg Score 5 | Views 99 | 1 Comment

Hello? Hi? Ehhhugh, hum? Y'all? D'ye exist? I exist? Anyone? Anyone at all? But, no. Nobody did exist. But somebody must have. Existed, that is. Otherwise this wouldn't  exist. But what is existence without purpose? Is that just, sorta, being? Like a thing. Y'know, not really there, but not not there. An object, formless, but there, not really there, but uh, in time and space. I don't...

Added 08 Feb 2021 | Category Musings | Votes 3 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 138 | 2 Comments

Go away, fuck off, back to your bunker. It has no title, but understanding is vital. Stop. Here’s the poem: I saw somebody. She was beautiful. An energy that didn’t fit, yet she owned it. I found out she likes to twist and shout. But does she like ...? Her polar is bi, she thinks she can fly and of course she can. She doesn’t need fixing. Let her be because she is me. I am serenity.  ...

Added 28 Jan 2021 | Category Poetry | Votes 3 | Avg Score 5 | Views 111 | 1 Comment

Dear Humans, You're all so weird! Sorry, let me start that again. I've been on your planet for 35 years. I've witnessed some things that I wouldn't want anyone else to, yet people do. I've seen the world through the eyes of a baby, growing up to become an infant, child, teenager, and finally adult. When I was a baby, things were simple: Cry for attention, sleep most of the time, play for...

Added 25 Oct 2020 | Category Musings | Votes 3 | Avg Score 5 | Views 125 | 3 Comments

Snackin' like it's going outta fashion, I've got a smile, it's flashing.  I'm happy as fuck, hear me play with my rubber duck!    I got hit by a truck!    Still snackin', just through a tube,  at this rate, I'll lose the moobs.  When I make a recovery, I'm gonna grab some boobs!   ...

Added 14 Dec 2018 | Category Poetry | Votes 3 | Avg Score 5 | Views 373 | 2 Comments

Four hundred and twenty potatoes. A client asked me to take a picture of that on my Exacta 66 camera. I contemplated as I sipped my dirty martini. I do get a lot of absurd requests, but this takes the cake. Speaking of cake, let’s get baked. I forgot what I was going to say now. Whatever, just saying...  ...

Added 07 Oct 2018 | Category Micro Fiction | Votes 10 | Avg Score 5 | Views 795 | 9 Comments

Pain, pain, go away, Fuck me up never a day.  An hour or more is all I ask, Is that really such a task? I wear a mask of brave facedness,  But inside, my lies are bare faced.  Nobody sees because I hide, For what else do I do, lest I slide? So, here I go, it's a difficult time, Where is the reason, where is the rhyme? It'll fade, given time.  But when in time, will my mind be mine? If my...

Added 10 Mar 2018 | Category Poetry | Votes 2 | Avg Score 5 | Views 475 | 3 Comments

There's a house at the top of the hill.  Haunted, of course. It doesn't want to kill, or even chill.  Benevolent, of course.  It used to be a mill.  Abandoned, of course.  They made twill.  Aeons ago, of course.  Now the house sits lonely and old.  Awaiting its new masters.  It's earned a reputation, ill-begotten.  The house, alive, just wants company.  It remembers, you see, it's...

Added 05 Dec 2017 | Category Poetry | Votes 3 | Avg Score 5 | Views 702 | 3 Comments

Hello, I'm new here. I am better than you. I'm smarter and kindlier — Cleverer too! You're stupid - you're snooty - You're unworthy of my precious time. As for me, it's plain to see: I'm magnificent and sublime! While I am Secretariat, Or perhaps Seattle Slew, The rest of you, a sorry lot, Are destined to become glue. This may seem rather blunt, But that's just how I am. If...

Added 10 Jul 2011 | Category Poetry | Votes 80 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,306 | 24 Comments