I remote viewed this website, in February 2010 after overhearing a couple of hot babes tossing ideas around, elsewhere. I was able to determine then that a nice young lady whom I knew as Lois Lane would pull my chain in September of that year about its actual existence.

Thanks Louise <img src="/images/emoticons/happy8.gif" alt="happy8">

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will make a diagnosis and tell you what's wrong and what you should do to alleviate the problem.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.... He pours the sample into the slot and waits..

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco.."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4.. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours... Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Costco!

enlightened

carrot cake

train or plane

Sh*t
My
Dad
Says

-Justin Halpern

peculiar, yet satisfyingly

Next word: Freddlation

A popular, multi-liquor shot drink. It's origins have been traced to Spacer's Nightclub in Fredericksberg, Virginia. Circa 1983.

Equal parts bourbon, vodka, gin, rum, scotch and ale. For extra zing, add one eyelash from the bartender!

Ted had managed to maintain a semblance of sobriety through fifteen chugged pints, but it was the four Freddlations which finally did him in.

Next up:

Vitrapes

The Town (previously published as: Prince of Thieves)...Chuck Hogan

I think it has been 'made' into a movie already.

intrepid

relieved

I can’t describe the feeling Of being number one I wasn’t there - quite long enough To realize the fun I’ve tried to play it cool before And tried to be myself But every time - I find that I’ve Been placed upon some shelf I wasn’t played nor led upon I wasn’t pushed nor shoved I know I was - but am not now Very...

Added 22 Oct 2010 | Category Poetry | Votes 3 | Avg Score 5 | Views 536 | 2 Comments

I'll come to you If you take your time It’s all in the way that you feel If you ever need or want someone too I’m easy and I’m real I’m easy to touch And easy to love Easy to hold and confide Maybe easy too much Too easy with love Too easy I’m told to hide He wanted to add Had something to tell Secretly sharing desire A glance or a look or nod of his head A burn without visible fire I’m...

Added 21 Oct 2010 | Category Poetry | Votes 5 | Avg Score 5 | Views 677 | 2 Comments

For all my plans now laid to rest and all my dreams once given test There comes a time and wish that's best Forgotten and unsaid For all my conduct ill-conceived and all my sorrows ever grieved There comes a time and wish believed Remembered yet unread For all my secrets unveiled to you and all my hopes yet to come true There comes a time and wish and hue Shared but never shed For all...

Added 20 Oct 2010 | Category Poetry | Votes 3 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 711 | 1 Comment

Is love polite and sometimes shy Does love sit tight yet sometimes cry Does love ever own the right to lie Is love allowed to wonder why Is love far off or close and near Can there be times when love knows fear Is there love in your heart When there’s none in your tears Can love be sold or let to sing Does love survive most every thing Can love feel hurt and can it hide Where does love go...

Added 19 Oct 2010 | Category Poetry | Votes 7 | Avg Score 5 | Views 798 | 4 Comments