About Jackson_Banks


Jackson Banks was an over-achieving young man who eventually earned a law degree. He grew up thinking practicing law would be awesome, but it turns out John Grisham writes fiction. This was a major oversight on Jackson's part. Practicing law sucks in reality, so Jackson began writing to relieve his daily stress. Some folks found it funny, so he decided to try to make a living doing it. Of course, he hasn't quite quit his day job yet.

In the process of earning his law degree, Jackson met The Wife, who provides the inspiration for many of his writings. Jackson writes mainly creative non-fiction pieces that are loosely based on the random things that actually happen to him. Occasionally, he writes other types of stories.

Jackson Banks
Relationship Status:
Raleigh, North Carolina, United States
Local Time:
18 Jun 2021 19:58
Jackson's hobbies include hiking, mountain biking, making a fool of himself, and annoying The Wife.
Favorite Books:
When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, A Walk in the Woods, The Sex Lives of Cannibals, Getting Stones with Savages, Lost on Planet China, Into the Wild, Into Thin Air, The Innocent Man
Favorite Authors:
David Sedaris, J. Maarten Troost, Bill Bryson, John Grisham, John Krakauer, Tucker Max
Favorite Movies:
Thank You for Smoking
Favorite Music:
Anything and everythying.


Date Joined:
08 Jun 2011
Last Visit:
06 Jan 2016 (1989 days ago)
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Jackson Goes for a Run, Realizes Why He Hates Birds

It was the first legitimate spring day of the season. The air finally warmed, the sun was out and there was not a cloud in the sky. I decided that rather than go to the gym and pretend to be a hamster on the tedious treadmill; I would call my friend James and see if he wanted to go for a run. He did, so we hit our local trail. It was a gorgeous day and about halfway through the run we decided...

Added 05 Apr 2013 | Category Humor | Votes 3 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 1,647 | 4 Comments

Welcome to the Jungle

I had assumed that I was the only person in the office at that early hour, but clearly someone was nearby as I bent over to retrieve the files I had just managed to spill all over the floor. Perhaps it was a burglar, or a homeless squatter. Whoever it was, they were clearly and curiously tearing bed sheets apart. I stood to begin an investigation into the loud noise, and suddenly felt a...

Added 01 Apr 2013 | Category Humor | Votes 6 | Avg Score 4.33 | Views 2,043 | 2 Comments

Jackson Goes to Starbucks, Realizes Why People Hate Lawyers

Coma patients should receive transfusions of my blood. Enough caffeine is coursing through my veins at any given moment that my blood could probably literally wake the dead. My addiction to coffee is so bad that I wake up in the mornings feeling hung over and more angry than a grizzly being poked by a stick. When I go to my office, the assistants scatter like cockroaches if they know I have...

Added 19 Mar 2013 | Category Humor | Votes 4 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,383 | 5 Comments

Happy Ending

I generally do not like massages. There is something about a fully clothed stranger touching me while naked that resonates weird in my mind. It brings to mind the clinical setting of my doctor’s office instead of a relaxing environment. Masseuses also ask awkward questions; “What do you like?” and “What do you want me to work on?” in a coy manner. These inquiries remind me of the strip...

Added 18 Jun 2012 | Category Humor | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 40,411 | 8 Comments

Santa, maybe?

Spectacular is the only word that can describe the view from the plane window flying into Jackson Hole, Wyoming. One gets fearful as the Grand Tetons appear as though they will scrape the bottom of the plane at any second. One ponders whether at any moment the airline will play some documentary soundtrack to fit the experience; something with drums and trumpets. This, of course, presupposes...

Added 14 Dec 2011 | Category Humor | Votes 3 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,189 | 2 Comments

(Mis)Adventures in Plumbing

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, I walked down the stairs into the living room where my lovely wife had assumed her normal position. “On Monday, remind me to call the home warranty people. My bathroom sink’s cold water lever doesn’t work any longer,” I requested. She diverted her attention from HGTV long enough to inform me that my request would be fulfilled. She added, “We also need to...

Added 15 Jun 2011 | Category Humor | Votes 3 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,587 | 4 Comments

Cat's Got A Tongue

Before the church would marry us, it required that we attend a “marriage compatibility” class. I began my unsuccessful attempt to promote elopement as the best way to achieve our mutual goal upon learning this. My soon-to-be wife was quite insistent, however, that she be married in the church she grew up in, and so I agreed to take the class in order to make her happy. And, if she’s happy,...

Added 10 Jun 2011 | Category Humor | Votes 2 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,658 | 1 Comment

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Ask most people what I do for a living and they’ll say I chase ambulances. That is simply false. I married a nurse precisely because I am not a good runner and did not want to have to chase them. In truth, my actual job title is “Attorney and Counselor at Law.” It sounds fancier than it really is. I do, however, take the counselor part very seriously. When my good friend Josh informed me that...

Added 09 Jun 2011 | Category Humor | Votes 2 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,951 | 2 Comments


No babies. Ever . It is a strictly enforced, no exception policy I have put into place. Everyone I know told me that it was a foolish policy to implement. One day, they insisted, I would change my mind and have at least one child. Parents, grandparents, friends, and ex-girlfriends all were intent on derailing my drive and motivation to keep this resolution alive. This policy was put into...

Added 08 Jun 2011 | Category Humor | Votes 4 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,536 | 2 Comments

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