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LousyNick
Over 90 days ago
South Africa

Stories

Series

LousyNick's Guide To Becoming The Ultimate Fighting Champion (Kinda)

A coward’s early steps on the road to enlightenment...through regular beatdowns.

As we get older, we tend to forget a lot of things. How to build the perfect pillow fort, say, or how much fun it can be to climb a tree. Or just how much getting punched can hurt See, for most of us, as we get older, we start to concentrate more on findi...

Dog Day Afternoon: Happiness, Hula Hoops, Huskies

Some days you dance for the amusement of a drone, while bemused puppies watch. These things happen.

It’s called Puppy Park for a reason. And today, that reason is obvious.There are canines of all kinds roaming around. English bulldogs and French bulldogs loping around lazily. A Jack Russell terrier is running around at a furious pace, a tiny brown-and-w...

Today

But seriously. I miss you. But where are my presents?

todaylikeevery other day i failedi stumbledi faltered you seefor most of the dayI kept my mind busydodging from task to taskbusy little worker beedoing those thingsthat so often keep me fromfully dreaming of you but thenI remembered somethingmissinggave m...

Cargo Culting: Happy Return Of The Technologically Advanced Aliens Day!

Big gods have lil gods upon their backs to bite 'em. Lil gods have lesser gods. And so ad infinitum.

So here's the deal: you probably think of 15 February as just That Day After Valentines Day, right? Well, yeah, it is that...but it's also so much more, a fun day in its own right, celebrated by hundreds and snickered at by thousands. It's John Frum Day!...

Sleeping Beauty: Nirvana

Just a moment of perfect bliss...what more can one ask for?

Happiness is horizontalJust lying hereWith her I hold her in my armsShe's warmInvitingBeautiful (of course) She breathesInOutInShiversI hold her closerKiss her cheekHer hair smells of springOf sunny daysBlue skies Bliss I close my eyesAnd I'mGone   

Adventure Time: Drive Free, Live Fun, Some Day...

Point the car out. Out where there’s fun and adventure and no cubicles. YOLO, right?

Every day, he got into his car and drove.Every day, he was free. He could just keep going. Drive to the mountains, or the lake, or the forest, or a city far away. He could go on wild adventures, travel to exotic places, see how folks lived over there. Rid...

The News - Only Much, Much Later: Learning From Old Magazines

Wisdom. Believe it or not, you can find it between the pages of old magazines - kind of.

You’re reading magazines wrong. See, if you’re anything like me, you treat these magazine things* as highly disposable sources of information. You buy them (or steal them, I guess, and shame on you), read them once (if that) and then never touch them agai...

The Creation of Man(agement)

You didn’t think all this Management madness just happened on its own, did you?

Ah, there you are. Please do come in. Make yourself comfortable.Who are we? Well, we’re what you might call Senior Management – but never mind about that now. It’s not important, and all will be made clear in just a little while.See, you’ve been a real as...

Self(ie) Aware: A Totally Deep Poem

Damn, what a poet...and don't he know it?

Ahem.Okay, throat cleared. Awed silence acknowledged.Let's go.The road to hell Is paved with good intentionsAnd I have seen Too many things to mention.Live hard, think smart, Gain comprehension:Everyone's the same, Made of egoAnd attention.So umJustLike L...

How The Universe Wants To Kill You: Happy Earth Day!

Some say in fire, some say in ice. But scientists say probably in screaming (albeit brief) agony...

For most of recorded history, Earth has looked like a nice, comfy place to raise a human race. Not too cold (mostly), not too hot (mostly), it was just what Goldilocks ordered. And barring the wrath of angry gods*, it didn’t look like anything could ever...

So you want to be a Henchman: Come to Hench-U!

The world can be a scary place for henchmen. That’s why a solid villainous education is so important

Being a henchman (or henchwench, naturally) is not an easy calling. You’re the first line of defense (and offense, for that matter) for a supervillain (or alien intelligence, eldritch entity, force of nature, etc.) with big plans - the one who has to thro...