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The Pick-Up Line

Kyle tries to talk to the cute girl he sees at the bar.

Sappy.

That’s exactly what it was. Kyle could feel it as he said it. He knew the absolutely absurd pick up line he was using was probably the most desperate-sounding plea for attention he had ever said.

“Hey baby, I heard the Solstice has the longest night of the year. Perhaps I could spend it with you, maybe?” He had asked hopefully.

Kyle knew it wasn’t going to work, he had held that thought in his mind even before he mustered up the courage to ask that gorgeous woman at the bar to talk to him. He had acquired the phrase on the Internet from a friend over Facebook. Kyle had gazed across the counter at her. He watched her sip her martinis and shots for an hour now.

As he asked his permission to talk to her, he watched her eyes look him over. Her eyes displayed a curious look when she first turned around to meet her challenger, but after he had offered his company with the pick-up line, her eyes changed to form a look of smugness and, strangely, relief.

“Well now, I was wondering if I was going to have to sit and drink all by myself tonight” she said to him. “Here. Sit down.” She patted the seat on the stool next to her.

Bewildered that his strategy seemed to have worked, Kyle eagerly took a seat next to her.

“I really like your dress,” he said. “Red really is your color.”

She shrugged. “I really only put this on just because it was the first thing that I saw in my closet that looked half-decent on me. It’s really itchy.”

As if to prove this point, she itched herself around her neck where her dress met the skin on her collarbone.

Kyle saw this chance to make himself appear as a witty person. “Well, those mice and birds must have worked hard on that dress so that Cinderella could look so beautiful. They probably forgot to think about how it would feel on her skin.”

He smiled, but on the inside he felt himself cringe. What a cheesy thing to say! He silently cursed himself in his mind for also making that pun he just thought of. He was worried she would think the same way.

To his surprise, she smiled. “Well now, if it isn’t Mr. Prince Charming himself?” She put her fists on her sides to show emphasis.

“It’s actually Prince Kyle Winston Charming,” he replied, while puffing out his chest.

She giggled. Doing okay so far, Kyle thought.

“Hey, why don’t we get out of this dump,” she gestured to the bar they were in, “and get something to eat? I am STARVING!”

He couldn’t believe it! She had just taken all of the things he was planning to say and took them all away and offered him a shortcut.

Kyle stuttered for a moment to think of what to say next. He had never actually asked a girl out before. Back in high school, he had plenty of crushes, but he was too shy to ask any of them out. His self-esteem wasn’t supported by the fact that he wore glasses, and his physique favored him on the “chubby” side. He had never gotten this far to talking to a girl before, and he didn’t want to blow it on the first try.

“That…that sounds amazing!” He finally replied. “But before we do, I still don’t think I got your name yet.”

“Oh, let’s not worry about that right now,” she replied after giving some thought before she answered. As she answered, she tried to don a convincing smile. “Right now, you should be concerned about which of your favorite restaurants you want to introduce me to.”

Kyle displayed a confused look on his face. “What? I don’t understand. Why don’t you want me to know your name? Is it, like, a secret or something?”

She sighed, and turned herself towards the counter and started to stare at her drink. “It’s actually something important to you. Specifically,” she added.

Kyle was even more curious than he was before. “Well? What is it??” He said, his voice practically overflowing with curiosity.

She groaned and sighed loudly before turning to him. Only this time she did not try to mask her face with a smile, instead she displayed a look of dire severity and complete consciousness of the gravity of her response.

“I’m your consciousness,” she replied, and dove towards Kyle and kissed him. She kissed him hard, right on the mouth. Kyle could feel something slide into his mouth. When she backed away from him, her face twisted into a face of pity, and she displayed deep sorrow at the revealing of her hidden identity to him.

Kyle reached into his mouth and pulled out a small piece of paper folded over several times. He unfolded it, fumbling it with his hands out of pure curiosity. He immediately saw words inscribed on it. Unknowingly, he said them aloud.\

“WAKE UP”

Kyle awoke in his bed in the middle of the night. He didn’t wake loudly or violently with his limbs flailing about, or even by sitting up quickly. His eyes merely opened for now he was conscious. He glanced at the digital clock beside his bed, 2:37 it read. He sighed and rolled over, adjusting his sheets as he did.

Well, he thought, I wish I could spend it with someone, but it looks like I'll be alone again. On the longest night of the year.

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