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Extreme Mislabelling For Desired Effect

Variety is the spice of life, but laughter is the best medicine...

“What’s with the long face,” I said to my horse-faced son.

Okay, that didn’t happen, nor does he have a horse's face, even though he’s the son of a jackass. My daughter, on the other hoof, doesn’t take after me – she is me.

She refers to my beloved, Leonard Cohen, as Leonard Colon. Grrr.

HEY!

Why, oh why, is everything on this site so darn down in the dumps? This isn’t the dark blue site. We’ve been warned not to refer to it as such. Be careful. But what in tarnation? Why do the stories and poems have been so dagnabbit sad? Once in a while is okay, but all the frickin' time?

Is it me? Did I do something wrong?

If no, then come on, people! Cheer the fire truck up!

I’ll attempt to start a new, gut-jiggling, booby-bouncing trend. Let’s post a wee bit of funny once in a while, okay?

Overhearing some adults speaking, my daughter rhetorically asks herself, “What language are they speaking. I know this. I know this," she repeatedly says, "Ginger... Orange… “

“Mandarin,” I suggested.

“Right,” she replied as if she was acknowleding that I had said it after her. “That’s it.”

A child’s infallible logic. Funny stuff, right?

The other day, my son was painfully repeating a phrase while we were driving.

"Whoo-geez."

"WHOO-geez."

"WhOO-gEEz."

“Dude,” I bellowed, wanting the pain to go away, “What the heck are you doing?”

I then saw the storefront sign he was trying to pronounce. Hughes. I guess he missed that Language Arts lesson on messed up English language exceptions.

So, let’s begin this thing.

My son is doing his homework. Some stupid, so he says, geography search ‘n identify assignment on Africa. He’s got a list. He’s got a blank map. He’s looking at the laminated world map that I had taped on the wall in our dining room. I heard him listing the countries as he read them, searching for the next one he needs.

I can tell he’s reading from the Atlantic side moving east - Morrocco, Algeria, Tunisia – and then he stops. I hear giddy boy giggles. You know the kind. He’d just saw, read, or thought of something funny, or inappropriate, as his younger sister would say. I knew where he had stopped. I just hung my head and laughed.

Libya.

Prior to his Social Studies assignment, he had been studying a lady parts diagram for his upcoming Health exam. Who wants to bet that that exam diagram of his is going to have a lady part mislabiad as an African country?

Some things never change.

Now write something funny, FFS!

 

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