So here I am working the over night or graveyard shift, 10:00 pm - 6:00 am. My buddy Steve radios in that he is stopping a possible intox driver, as he is about 2 blocks away I advise dispatch that I am en route. As I arrive on scene Steve already has the driver at the rear of his vehicle.

The driver has an arrogant air about him and is more than a little drunk and very vocal about being stopped. Steve begins to administer the roadside sobriety tests, and he fails the first one miserably. He then asks in Oxford English syntax if these tests are optional. My partner responds that they are and the driver replies that he opts for no taking anymore, he is promptly arrested for DWI.

I go to wake up the passenger in the front seat and inform him his buddy is being arrested and he will have to drive the vehicle. The passenger is an agreeable and likable younger man who promptly tells me, "Officer, I am too drunk to walk."

"Well, I can't just leave you here."

"If you take me back to Panerra's I have friends there that will take me home."

I contact the Sargent for permission to transport and it is granted so I walk the passenger to my cruiser. I inform him that I have to check him for a weapon and he responds to go ahead, he is clean and I open the rear door and allow him to enter. I then advise dispatch that I am transporting a passenger to Panerra's and provide them with the starting mileage.

We arrive less than 10 minutes later and dispatch is advised and the ending mileage is given. I open the rear door to allow the passenger to exit. He thanks me for the ride and goes to the entrance door and throws it open wide and shouts, "Hey, Joey's going to jail for DWI."

A loud cheer erupts from the interior. This Joey must be a piece of work to have his friends cheer at his misfortune.

I call clear and return to patrol.