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Csárdás
By
Shotgun011

Csárdás

This is the first one written in 2017

Finding myself out here feeling the wind, as I try to find some sort of shelter and thinking of the coming storm that’s being heralded by the wind. As I finally get myself into what appeared to be an empty station near some rusted and unused tracks, and when I walked in I could see someone lying there on a chair. I made my way to where he was in the gathering gloom and asked him what was he doing here in what seemed to be like in the middle of no-where or the far side of the moon. He replied I’m doing the same as you and asked if I had a smoke. Just as the storm broke and soaked everything outside of this station or way station, we both seemed to find in time. Which had me wondering if I was directed to be here in this stretch of time and to learn what lessons I could by the Tao?

Finding myself a chair in which to sit out the storm much as he did when I was asked if I knew how deep in the ocean depths heartaches hide? To which I had no real reply, and then the stranger lit up a smoke and decided to tell me his lesson(s), or share what might be his wisdom like that Madman I once knew back in the past. But, first, it seemed prudent to start a fire to hold back the darkness and the creeping damp cold that was being brought on by the raging storm outside. As I was then asked if I knew anything of human nature and of all the ulterior motives that most had as well as the accusations made, and used just to make one flinch?

As I sat there across from him staring into the flames from the fire and listening to the howling of the wind, he could be heard explaining some of the things he had experienced and was being given to me as either a lesson to be used, or as a warning to avoid what might be met as made my way on down the line. Having me be reminded of that night I spent long ago in what was another life with that Madman in the unnamed bar in La Union. With how I was to look around and see that all in there were serving time in some shape or form, including the both of us.

He lit up another smoke, and I heard him speak as if he were making testament of what he needed to pass on to me here in this forgotten station as the storm raged around us. I was told that one day I will lose everything with nothing to prepare me for that day, and among those things that will fail you will be faith, and any form of religion or belief…Nothing. For you will then know what it feels to be completely and utterly alone, nor will you ever forget or forgive what event that happened or the person(s), who caused it. If you are someone who has nothing to lose, then you are all-ready here, and your lessons will be much more difficult ones. For some things, there is there is no forgiveness and that hard fact can be hard to live with.

As I sat there half listening I was reminded of parts from Bradbury’s Illustrated Man, especially the parts in-between the stories, as well as being reminded of what it was like when I hit absolute bottom and seemed to have no way out except to go through those complicated shadows when it seemed as if it were inevitable along with the events which were mere split seconds in time which brought me to that place which has the power to break iron and bend steel. A lonely place which cannot be forgotten or forgiven, and seemed to take the future and end all things as if the darkness had locked up the dark light of the sun. Being like something out of Steppenwolf by Hesse in which the price of admittance to the magic theatre which is for madmen only; being your mind, and the hand being no different from what it might create.

Somehow I find myself stretching and seeing the cold remains of a fire made there on the floor which proves I was here but there is no other trace of anyone else which makes all being like a touch of the strange along with a drop of hell as I head out following these old tracks and trying to make sense of the murky memories of the previous night and recalling that I have been in those places I think or feel I dreamed during the storm. To which I add to those lessons learned and something to never forget, as well as the fact all of the past, in reality, is close behind. And one must take pleasure from the simplest of things no matter how small.

Copyright: Timberwolf International LTD. January 2017 – 01

 

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