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I Ruminate on My Mediocrity

My mediocrity overwhelms me as I ruminate on my life.
Were my expectations too high?
Work, sleep, succeed, marry, parent, mentor, and prevail.
Seven words in everyone’s life.

If you know their meaning, you’re living your life backward.
Fewer memories to make and more to forget ahead.
The road in front of me is shorter than the one behind.
I have more regrets than a thousand Frank Sinatras.

My God, why have I wasted my life?
I know why.
To be married, to have success, to parent, to mentor, to prevail against the world, to have meaning from work, and to know the peace of sleep.
This is where my life slipped away.

No one will remember my name or my accomplishments except my family.
They are the ones I worked for, rested for, succeeded for, married for, parented for, and mentored.
Now that I’ve prevailed, where is my victory parade?

The confetti doesn’t fall, the bands do not play, the key to the city unlocks my car door.
My placard will be made of granite; my life will be recorded with my name and two dates.
My accomplishments will fade in concert with the memories of family and friends.

I once was as you are now.
I am now what you will become.
I know the meaning and comprehend oblivion.
And I ruminate on my mediocrity.

 

 

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