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Dear Santa

Tags: humor

Dear Santa.

All I want for Christmas is something for ED, constipation and some Polident. And if you think about it, bring me a broad who doesn't have varicose veins or a goiter. Also, a new blow-up doll of Tammy Wynette. It seems the old one sprung a leak and is now in space, somewhere over Miami.  

I understand that I got failing grades on being nice but hemorrhoids give me a nasty disposition. Ok. I'm a jerk. How did I know that Mrs. Claus worked a brass pole at the Moose Lodge on the weekends? She only scratched my back and get in line ticket.

And if you don't mind me asking. Will you park your frigging sleigh between lines and bring a damn pooper-scooper?  Also, something to haul away the wildebeest crap. What they dropped last year has already fossilized and turned into a boulder. But the nice folks here at the nursing home have chiseled it a statue of George Jones.  

Obituarius.

PS.

I'll keep the light on.

 

 

 

 

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