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Fighting, Futures, and Fear: A Musing About Cancer

Cancer is a bitch and I wish I could just put it down.

So I'm finally writing again and so I'm on the computer until 1:30 in the morning when I should be in bed and on skype, but I needed to write this one while it was still.. on my mind, because if I leave it til tomorrow, then I won't do it and I'll just ignore it because I'm really good at ignoring (or trying to ignore) the bad things in life. I try to block them out, and I know you all won't believe that because of the Philena stuff, but honestly? That's someone else's life. When it comes to mine, if I focused on some of the bad stuff... I'd fall to pieces, and I won't do that.

Um, but this musing is mostly focused on bad and I apologize up front for that, but I was browsing YouTube and I came across this wonderful boy who would be... about my age right now. Um, and he's not, because osteosarcoma (a bone cancer) took his life at the age of 17 in 2013, and that led me to write Live Like You're Dying, but it also led to more cancer-related songs. One of the songs I really relate to is Save You by Simple Plan, and so of course that one came up in the mix and I turned into a puddle of gibbering salty tears. Um, but the part that really got to me was not only the chorus which I've written on before in Save You, but also part of the second verse:

"You're just skin and bones, there's nothing left to take."

And... this has a lot of... personal crap tied to it. My uncle was first diagnosed with prostate cancer some while back and he fought his way into remission a couple times... and this last time it moved to his lungs. It's still there and a couple years ago he was told he had one year and that was when I wrote Save You... Well, obviously he's still alive and fighting, so I have a couple things to thank for that and that's cannibis oil and the treatment trial that he's a guinea pig in. He had some of the oil for a while that he would drip into his morning coffee and that along with the treatment has kind of stalled the cancer in his lung...

But as we all know cancer is vicious and it's stubborn and it doesn't give up spreading worth a damn, so...

He found out a few weeks ago that he had a tumor in his lower back, around the spine area. He went through three potent radiation treatments in the span of 30 days, every ten days, and has just gone through surgery to remove the tumor. He's in a wheelchair for the next few weeks, because if he stands he could damage anything in the general vicinity... and then he'll start physical therapy.

And I'm glad he's beat this tumor, but we all know that once cancer starts spreading, it spreads fast... and while I'm hopeful that he'll pull through again, he's been fighting a LONG time and no matter how strong a person is, even the strongest get tired. I hope with all my heart that he'll still be here when I finally get to marry my wonderful boyfriend, Andrew

I just wish they'd find a cure.

Now.

(Please)

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Copyright © Copyright 2012-2019 by Aria Leitner aka Colors_of_the_Wind

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