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LDR Musing II: Andrew and I and Unemployment // Long Distance Sucks

When you're broke and your 5-year anniversary is coming up and all you want... is to hold him.

Long Distance isn't romantic. It isn't hidden love letters and long visits with the knowledge you'll see them again in six months.

Long distance is loving someone so much it hurts to be away from them. It's knowing that they're blushing or smiling or crying just by the tone of their silence - they don't even have to giggle or speak anymore, you just know. It's dreaming that they are there and waking up to find that that is not your reality. It is hanging up the Skype call and tossin n turnin all night because you can't sleep without them.

It is the occasional care package full of goodies, their handwriting, and, if you're lucky, their scent. It's the 5 hour long Skype calls when you should be asleep and the wish that they could just be here so you could cuddle and fall asleep together... not apart.

Long distance is two or three years going by without physical contact where you'd give anything just to hold their hand. It's seeing them for 23 days, saying goodbye at the airport and not knowing when you'll see them next. It's craving their presence so much you can't sleep, you can't eat, all you want to do is jump through the screen and be with them.

Long distance is saving for a year or more to pay for just a passport and plane ticket... and then losing your job. It's crying when you have to close that savings account because you still don't have a job. It's feeling like a failure because you were supposed to BE THERE in 2 months and instead you are here and that savings account is closed and you have no job and you're broke.

Long distance is being trapped somewhere that should be home, but isn't, because your home is with them 5,000 miles away.

It is so much more than I can say in plain words. It's the deepest, strongest connection you can have - and they're half a world away from you.

So, no, long distance isn't some sappy love story and it's not cute when you come up to me and call it "so romantic". Long distance sucks...

But it would suck a lot more without him in my life. 

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © Copyright 2012-2019 by Aria Leitner aka Colors_of_the_Wind

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