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LDR Musing: Me and Andrew and Distance

Just a random musing...

I started this and realized I don't really know what I'm going to write... it's been a long, long time since I last wrote anything on here, so I guess this is just going to be a musing... maybe.

It's been a little over three months since I stayed the night at a friend's house and we drove to pick up Andrew at the airport the next day. That day was amazing - like a dream come true. We were finally able to hold each other. Oh my Goddess those couple weeks were heavenly. So much cuddling. I only worked one day out of all twenty-three, so we had the rest of the time to just... be together. I almost never get up earlier than ten, and he never gets up earlier than noon or afternoon, but we woke up at six to go to Seattle- twice- and were up at eight or eight-thirty almost every day unless we had been up really late the night before. We watched movies, went to a beautiful garden in Federal Way (and he had his first PB&J, heehee), explored Pike Place, ate at a vegan place,he proposed to me in h-mart with a Hello Kitty candy ring, we walked all around Auburn together. He really makes me a better person - I never walk more than I have to and while he was here, we walked for miles and it didn't bother me a bit.

It's been a little over two months since I went with my parents and had to take him back to the airport. We got there really early, so spent an extra half hour together...

The first few days were really, really difficult, and I'm glad I only worked a couple days that week, because every day felt like forever had gone by and by the time we got on skype each night, I was exhausted and in tears. Days are easier now... I survive it. Still hate it, but survive it. Nights are still really difficult... to get into my tiny little twin bed and sleep by myself is exceedingly difficult no matter how much time has passed. I keep telling one of my friends, who is now in a very similar situation, that it gets easier... but it really doesn't... you just get used to it. It becomes routine to feel okay or kind of whatever about everything during the day and feel like shit without him at night. I try telling myself that every day is one day closer to never having to say goodbye again, but how do I know that? How do I know that the US government isn't going to decide to be total jackasses and deny him permanent residency? I mean, I know the chances of that are low, but honestly? I'm just worried about everything nowadays, because I don't wanna screw one thing up and have it totally ruin my chances of seeing him soon.

I have a countdown on my phone. It says there are 231 days until I get to hop on a plane and see him within 9-10 hours... I just wish 231 days would turn into 0 a lot faster than it is.

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Copyright © Copyright 2012-2019 by Aria Leitner aka Colors_of_the_Wind

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