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No more tears and sadness

Tags: loss

Written for my soulmate, partner and best friend Alun Thomas

You walked out of my life one Sunday morning. “See you later for dinner!’ you said with that wicked twinkle in your blue eyes and you never returned.

You were exercising your favourite racehorse on a magnificent stretch of beach, laughing aloud at the sheer enjoyment and excitement, feelings of absolute freedom, galloping on the sand, with the wind in your face, the azure waves lapping on the shore and Table Mountain glistening in the distance.

Then without warning, you fell to the ground, clutching your chest, your eyes glazed over and in that moment your spirit was gone.

My life had ended as well. I had waited my entire life to be loved by you and my happiness was cruelly taken away and I was left alone and bereft.

Picking up the pieces, days filled with moments of madness and despair. Overwhelming grief and dying of a broken heart. Not eating enough, but drinking far too much to drown the pain and feelings of utter hopelessness. I just did not know how to pull through and how I was supposed to live without you.

No point in carrying on.

Then slowly and gently, I was forced back into life by my family and friends, taking it one day at a time, until finally the bad days were eclipsed by the good days.

It has been three years since you left me on that beautiful summer’s day. I have finally learnt to let you go and I smile with happiness, when I think about our love, our life, our laughter and the memories we shared.

I was so blessed to be part of your life and your love. And I will never forget you.

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