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G
Rambles

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346 words 346 words
I stare at the page. 

There are words, but I no longer feel them or grasp their meaning. The frustration grips at me and I wonder what is the point anyway? Why do I put myself though this every time?

It hurts and I struggle. I lose sleep and forget what time it is. I neglect things that need to get done. For what? 

Words on a page?

I step away and go and do something else, but in the back of my mind there they are. Those pesky little thoughts and characters. They are walking around in my head, making me tired. 

I growl and I yell, I slam doors and stomp around in frustration. 

I stop and I take a quick breath, I close my eyes to calm down. I have a little internal chat with myself, telling myself to stop acting like this. They are just words. Nothing to get upset over, it will come when it is ready. Don't push it. Be patient.

Right. Me, patient? Unfortunately I don't possess that certain trait. I can thank my mother for that.

Now where was I?

Ah yes, calming myself down.

I think of the rain and fog. Or that perfect cup of coffee that will warm me inside and out, make me feel human again after a sleepless night. 

Cupcakes and chocolate. Hugs and kisses. A good movie or my soft, warm bed on a cold winters night.

I am calm now. I can relax and focus. I see my cat sprawled out on the floor, without a care in the world.

I join her.

I lay down on the floor next to her, on my back. I turn my head to look at her. She looks back, no doubt wondering what the hell has gotten into me. She stands up and walks closer to my face. She gives me a headbutt, she does that. That is her way of saying "I love you".

"I love you too". 

I smile and scratch behind her ear. 

I am okay now. 

They are only words.

Published 
Written by Blue
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