Shadows are beginning to fall, and I have been sitting here all day, and it all has me wonderin’ if the faithful be rewarded or will they be passed by and end up in the pitching queues for the gallows yelling and singing praise for the hallowed? Still, though there is nothing really left to fear voices can be heard at times, and has me wondering if it is from someone I have let down in some way or have just left behind. Closing my eyes and wondering if my soul has turned into steel while time seems to be running away and I have been caught by that second hand that sweeps by, and usually catches all no matter if they think they can outrun it.
Still, I wonder if I can do anything right after having done so many things wrong as I made my way through this Vale of Tears, or Bittersweet Symphony known as life. I might let myself down if you put your hand in mine and I wonder if you will travel with me down this hard road? Which might actually be the road to ruin, and it might be getting dark but, the darkness hasn’t fallen yet. At this point in my life I ain’t looking for anything in anybody’s eyes, and at times wonder why I even care or give a damn as I make my way through the shadows and keep on heading down the line, and sometimes I feel like I am losing ground. Still, I am trying to do the best I can with what I got, and all the things I have left behind all I need do is open my heart and hand to take the hardest part, along with those things I have missed.
Sometimes it feels as if my burden is more than I can bear, as my sense of humanity has joined the list of things that have gone down the drain, as I wonder if I should believe those lines on my hands and watch as those finest silver threads slowly unwind between my fingers. I was born there, and now it looks as though I will die here against my will after having proved so many wrong when I packed all up after making a reservation on an invitation, and I ain’t been back there yet. Wondering at times if I was just on another fool’s errand and it’s like climbing stairs and instead of climbing I feel like I am stumbling down. With those things, I’d like to forget are just like the past and is usually close behind.
Yesterday everything seemed to be moving too fast, and today there are times when everything is just moving too slow and has me wondering if they’ll be coming to get me and then again maybe they won’t and I do know it won’t be today, or tonight and not here. There are plenty of things I could say, but I don’t and just allow those words to fall from me and die at my feet in the dust. Having me recall the time when I decided to eat when I was hungry, drink when I was dry, and attempted to live my life upon the square. With most of those, I have met along the way just being so lame, that I had to rearrange their faces and give them all another name. Following a scorched earth policy and walking away, knowing there is nothing more to be said and I know there is no further need for an explanation with nothing to be gained. After having sat there and heard and listened to every mind-polluting word full of sound and fury yet, signifying nothing.
Been making my way on down the line in search for those things I can use and going where directed by the Tao, and it feels at times as if I am trying to make it to heaven before they finally decide to close the door. With some memories growing dimmer and being able to haunt me as they did before, still, the past remains close behind and closer than people think it is. Feels at times as though I have been walking through the middle of nowhere as I learn to live with memories and attempt to seal off the past. There are times when it just feels like I don’t exist, and still, I continue to make the rounds and know most carry their walls of pride which are high and wide and no one is able to see over to the other side. It’s always sad to see a thing of beauty decay, and I know that behind all things of beauty there lies some kind of pain.
There have been times when I feel like those winds have torn me to shreds, while reality has too many heads and faces like those rumours, innuendos, and gossip has so many who have given them life, as they try to play some sort of mind game as they pass by. Still, when the rain is made of stones, and the world seems to be on your case I will try to be there with a warm embrace when you are on the highway of regret. Though it might be late and it might feel like the end of time has come, as things begin to disintegrate just continue on down the line where the Tao directs each moment to be joined as a river of time.
Copyright: Timberwolf International LTD. April 2017 – 23
