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Simple Question, Another Poor Decision Dad Answer

Inquisitive young minds want to know, so do not mess with them or you will pay the humbling price...

“What’s wrong with her eye?” my daughter asked after noticing the receptionist’s eye patch.

Temporarily ignoring her, I continued socializing with the ladies, focusing on the one informing us about her planned travels to Romania and a few neighboring European countries over the summer.

“Romania?” The short girl beside me interrupted again. “Like Transylvania, Romania?”

“Yes,” I politely, but abruptly answered her, while also sending her a Do Not Disturb look. She clearly took this as what she thought it was meant to be - a challenge of wills and parental authority.

She semi-patiently waited, walking circles around me, until we were done talking, when she asked again, “What’s wrong with Tammy’s eye?”

The answer seemed obvious but was worth the ask, so I did. As I suspected, an infection, the type of gauze gave that away. Not a glorified eye gouge or a glass eye lost at the local swimming pool type answer, but a boring blocked tear duct or seasonal irritation explanation.

Simple question, simple answer.

“So, Dad,” the girl again badgered, “What’s with the patch?”

This is yet again another shining example of where I have failed as a father. I have a straight-forward, question-answer situation at hand, but I chose to mess with the kid’s developing mind instead. However, I do blame my poor judgment on her unnerving persistence.

“Tammy’s pregnant,” I sarcastically responded.

With a straight face and the impeccable timing of a seasoned comedian, the girl then responded, “Well, good thing she isn’t traveling to Romania.”

I’m done. She’s got me. I just don’t know how, but I can feel it. It’s a checkmate, or at the very least, a stalemate.

“Why,” I hesitantly asked, “Is it good that Tammy is not traveling to Romania?”

“Too dangerous," she smirked. "Vampires like boobie milk.”

Oh, FFS!

I did not see that coming. I don’t know where she gets that stuff. My daughter is only seven, but man, does she make me laugh.


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