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HomePoetry StoriesI’m the Perfect Internet Date; Why am I Still Alone?

I’m the Perfect Internet Date; Why am I Still Alone?

Mastering the social media does not guarantee happiness.

I am a normal modern male in search of a new mate.
I use the social media to get myself a date.

My web page shows my smiling face with brown hair neatly cropped.
(In life I am completely bald; the pic is Photo-shopped.) 

I tweet that I’m called handsome by a lot of different folk.
(But if you want to Skype and chat I’ll say my cam is broke.) 

My Facebook says I cycle, run, and like to box some rounds.
(That’s true but I can’t do too much. I weigh 400 pounds.) 

At tagged dot com I am a grad who posted mostly A’s.
(I actually was a fast dropout who lasted twenty days.) 

Hireme says I oversee the work of fifty-four!
(By watching workers from my window on a higher floor.) 

Per match dot com on Saturdays I love to walk and cuddle.
(Most Saturdays I’m found face down near some bar in a puddle.) 

But girls will still call or send texts to meet for lunch or tea.
(Boy are they then mortified when what shows up is me!)

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than storiesspace.com with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © © Lee Goldberg 2011, 2012, 2013. All Rights Reserved. Contact info: leegpoetry@gmail.com

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