There's lots of things I love you for

And many things I don’t

You tell me that you’ll try to change

I realise that you won’t

I love your long brown shiny hair

Each strand is oh so fine

As I pull them out the shower drain

I know that they’re not mine

The shower fairy comes each day

Wet towels hang on the door

She cleans up all your footprints

Where you pad across the floor

And while were on the subject

Our bedroom floor’s been messed

Last nights nightie on the floor

Right there where you got dressed

Our breakfast time’s a nightmare

You sit and eat so slow

Why can’t we grab a slice of toast

And eat it on the go

Evening time we snuggle up

And turn on our TV

You like to watch those trashy soaps

They’re really not for me

Seems that we’re like chalk and cheese

And shouldn’t be a pair

You found my secret chocolate stash

I really do despair