Together,
over the years,
half a lifetime,
half a life,
our life, 
together.

She was first among equals,
the best woman,
the answer
to all
I had dreamed of in my time.

The sparkling gem set in the gold setting
of womanhood.

A work of feminine art
and 
of the incarnation
of kindliness,
a kindred spirit,
in one incomparable soul.

She was.

The past lives on in memories,
but not as an embodiment, 
more's the pity,
no more.

She was.

No longer is,
save in my mind,
my mind is full of her,
she fills me 
still,
attempts to complete me
still,
in my mind.

We were.

I am not complete,
completed now,
as I am not all here, not here,
as I was,
and we were.

Except in my mind.

And my mind 
is not all here.

So I'm told,
so I suppose,
so what to do.

What to do about it,
the way to forget,
to end the regret.

Only one way,
one way,
except just forgetting,
going my way,
going out with a glorious resolution,
going away.

Which way
to choose, I must 
decide to lose,
to lose what I have,
to become as she is,
not here,
no more,
with her,
or like her,
all the same.

Her battle was epic,
as they all are,
each one who struggles with life,
and the pain that comes with life,
she struggled
the good fight,
with strength,
but lost,
as so many lose,
as we all lose,
eventually.

My anger will fill the halls of eternity forever,
the damned emptiness, echoing my cries,
my shouts,
my remorse for my own omissions,
my faults,
my limitations and my vices and my failures,
my regret.

But I can join her, 
and will join her,
it is decided,
it is done,
the sleep comes,
the big sleep at last comes,
and she is there,
and I forget,
and remember with her, once again,
in the end.