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Reminiscing

Tags: life, family, death

I Miss You Daddy.....

Looking back today and reminiscing
on the good times we shared.
The smile on your face that we both share
The rough calloused hands that held me
when I was hurting. The hard hand that busted
me jumping on the bed! But it only happened once
because I didn’t want you angry at me.

I remember riding in the big combine while
you were working…so happy I was at your side.
I remember running the mile race and
when I moved in from last to second place
I saw you cheering me on and knew I had
made you proud.

On the day of high school graduation, you stood proudly at my side.
You told me several times to finish college because that
was all you were waiting for, to see your baby girl graduate
with her degree. I remember your speech to stay in school
and how important it was for us to succeed on our own.
So we would not have to work the long hours you did.

Then one October day I got a call from my mom that
you were on your way to the hospital, unknown to us all
what is about to befall us all. It was a couple of months,
after painful grueling tests we heard the words no one really
ever wants to hear.

The doctor told us you had stage 4 cancer and told us
there is a lot to do. You looked at me and told me to be strong
you weren’t dying yet. You told me everything would be ok and
that the chemo would make things better.

I had my doubts but seeing how strong you were for us
made me want to be a strong person, just like you!
You kept telling me how all you wanted was to see me
get my degree and then God could take you home.

Seeing how well you worked through everything gave
me strength to earn my degree. I remember telling you
how you were going to see me graduate and get my degree.
So when I walked across that stage one December morning
I knew you were so proud of me.

Never did I think you meant what you said
It makes me mad to think back because maybe I if I
wouldn’t have finished my degree, you still could
be here with me.

You left me one beautiful February morning, as I
sat in church hugging my children thinking oh my Lord
what a beautiful day; nothing can make this day go wrong.
When I got home my brother called to let me know that
while I sat in church HE took you from me.

You worked so hard so your family could have it all but
all I ever wanted was your blessing and approval.
You were my friend not just my dad, the one I could confide
in…the one who made me strong. Even thought it’s hard for me,
to realize that I am truly blessed. Daddy I want you to know that
I now understand that it was me who was blessed for 34 years.

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