When I am not doing anything I look at your picture, and I think to myself, what it would be like to hold your face in my hands and kiss your lips, to touch your beard and trace your eyes with my fingertips.

You have this innocent look of a little boy in your eyes that I so dearly love to look at. That naughty streak to explore is showing in your sparkling blue eyes. I wanted to know what was behind your naughty smile, the naughty thoughts that lurked in your eyes.

I can see mischief from your eyes, I can see you running around and climbing trees, jumping from the tree to the river and swim. I can hear your laughter as you swim in the river. I can see a carefree child in his own made-up world.

You have these smiling eyes that I love looking at, my lips and heart start to smile too. They would make my sun shine even brighter. I miss those smiles that my heart has felt.

Nowadays, all I can feel are the sadness and pain that I've caused.