I look around my messy place
and feel the flushing in my face
because my home is in an unkempt state.

I try to find some peace upstairs
ignoring carpet stains and tears
and seek a place to chill and meditate.

But when I reach the bedroom door
my underwear is on the floor.
This makes it hard for me to just chill out.

So I head to take a shower
but then see that I did not scour
the bathtub or the dark and mildewed grout.

I go down to the kitchen table
hoping there that I’ll be able
to have a snack and find a little peace.

The table’s strewn with junk and plates
and bills with long past overdue dates.
The dishes are all coated with thick grease.

I shuffle to the living room
and note that I should get the broom
as I gaze down upon a doughnut crumb.

Instead I stoop to get it near
and with a snap that I can hear
flick it away with forefinger and thumb.

I grab my new remote control
but feel a shudder thru my soul.
Atop the “ENTER” is a chocolate glob.

It matters not what room I choose,
I have the messy household blues.
I can’t deny I’m living like a slob.

I swear tomorrow I’ll make things right
and clean up this disgusting site
and it will bring serenity and cheer!

But right now me and my big paunch
will boot my PC and then launch
some porn and have another ice cold beer.