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The Torino's Lament

The Torino's Lament

Cars have feelings too, you know

Preamble - friends of mine have a lovely and lovingly cared for vintage car, a Ford Gran Torino. It's taken out by them on special occasions, but for a recent such event, the Torino was left at home, as there was no secure parking available at the venue they attended. Instead, they drove a large vehicle of recent make. This inspired the following:

The Torino’s Lament


Cars have feelings too, you know

What? No reserved parking and much deserved admiration this year?

Love me and leave me,
Just don't deceive me,
Or was my chrome vintage beauty
What appealed to your longing?

Hubcaps gleam,
All surfaces’re clean,
Vacuumed inside,
So much more than a ride!

I purr, as you know,
And run smoothly,


Iterating that deals a blow
To my fine-tuned self esteem


Might have been tarnished
If I weren't what I am:
Powerful, sexy,
The summum of glam

My point should be clear:
You chose me,
A Torino!
Not some slutty TransAm.

All right, go ahead,
Take that other thing out
Have your show

With that inferior
Bland and boring -

It's no time to mince words

So let's call
A car, a car -

or a rod,
Even worse!


With that inferior
Bland and boring,
That… that... that…

Behemoth of a ride,

A clumsy white whale,
A lumbering queen,
Who coyly bats her
Grill lights
In an attempt to be seen

And admired -

That’s not going to happen
It’s so plain to see,
Not the way it occurs,
When you’re out with


Enjoy your outing,
Ignore me,
Forget me,
'Though one thing is clear,
You’ll likely come calling
In a future that's near

The wait might be long,
But as always I am
And remain most sincerely,
Do I still have your ear?

The Torino,
Your Darling,
The car of the year

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Cover photo is property of the Torino's owners, and used with their gracious permission. All rights reserved

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

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