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Lesson #1: Wear Bug Repellent When Making Out in Parking Lots

What happens when ants get the best of you.

It is no secret that I have tremendously bad luck when it comes to dating and hook ups. I am a 23 year old post-college graduate female who works at a law firm, owns a new car, and lives with roommates in a large house. Some would say I sound rather put together.. but then there is my dating life. I really do not have good luck in this area. I will say that I have learned a lot of lessons that other people may benefit from. If anything, they make for great entertainment.

I can start off with lesson #1:

Wear bug repellent when making out in parking lots. It sounds like common sense to most, however it is a vital lesson. You see, it was senior spring break in Key West and our whole group of friends gathered for the celebration sixteen hours from our homeland in Raleigh, NC. I was sharing a room with six other girls, so I knew there would be little chance for me to bring someone home. I had pretty much settled with the idea that I was not going to have any crazy spring break hook up stories. Not like I was exactly planning on bring a random back to my room but you never know.

Well anyway, one of our good guy friends ended up surprising us and coming down last minute! He did not exactly have anywhere to sleep, so we all agreed to make accommodations for him for the remainder of the week. Keep in mind that this is spring break, we are celebrating finishing school, and we are all plastered. Not to mention, we are also all tan and looking pretty attractive. On the last night of the trip, he and I were spitting some serious flirt game at one another. We had always been pretty flirty, however we had never put it in to action. One thing turned in to another and we decided to meet up in the parking lot. Now, what do normal people do in a parking lot? They park, unload and reload. I guess you could say we did just that… minus the cars.

We snuck behind some cars towards the back of the lot and started intensely making out. We were near a curb and slightly laying on some pine needles. Things got pretty intense and there were some private parts involved. This went on for about an hour and the sun started to come up amongst other things, so we called it a night. We went back to my room and squeezed on to the blow up twin mattress that was placed between the two full beds. The next morning rolls by and while I hear everyone else outside enjoying the pool, I notice red bumps all over my legs. I wake up my friend beside me and he also has red bumps all over his legs. We slowly realized we had been rolling around in a fire ant hill in the parking lot. Talk about a scratch of shame.

I headed out to the pool and made him wait to go out a little bit later. I also wrapped a towel around my legs and as soon as I got to the pool, I jumped in and that is where I stayed all day. No one ever realized that we both had these monstrous bug bites and I got my spring break story. Hey, at least they weren't bed bug bites. Not to mention, he also had a girlfriend at the time. Oh, he is also now one of my roommates. Oops!

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