There comes a point in time when everything seems like ‘been there, done that’. Things boil down to an open or close chapter, you stop enjoying the chase and see through everyone and nearly every situation.

Well this is what is happening to me right now, I have been fighting my own battles for so long that the ‘fiercely independent’ tag seems too ‘habitually tight’ around my neck, much like a noose I would say. The universal opinion seems to be resonating with the chorus ‘oh don’t worry she will manage’ she is a tough girl, hmmmm’.

The shock factor for any damn thing seems to have gone for me or maybe I am just too exhausted to waste my energy on trying to explain things to people. Well hello…….I am not an old oak tree.

So what do I do to break away from this mundane recycled wisdom that I have attained today? Hmm……go to a lonely place and shout my lungs out or wait for time to turn things rosier for me? Well I don’t think any of this will work for me

(A) It is very difficult to find a lonely place these days. Encroachment to my lonely space is possible anytime in the community park next to my house with neighbours and others walking up to me, seeing me alone, and I hate to face the worst of my fears i.e. the question ‘is everything all right’?

It’s a deadlock situation if I tell the people concerned ‘please leave me alone’ it might be taken as being rude or impolite and if I say ‘no all is fine’ they won’t buy it and the pestering and ‘gyan’ will start. So OK FINE I will not try to find a lonely place and burn myself out with the effort.

(B) I am also too impatient to wait for things to turn rosier.

So, there I am back to the same question: what do I do?

Just go with the flow and maybe drift and drown in my own consciousness of things that were, things that are and maybe the things that will be.