Carried Too Long

Allowing myself to misplace reality's grip.
Dwelling yet again in the past, feeling dismay.
Into the bottomless depths of darkness I slip.
Why could life not have been a different way?

Trying to regain clarity, not where I want to be.
Descending to the abyss, luminosity fading fast.
Not fearing the dark, but the demons awaiting me.
Been here many times, heart stressed, mind aghast.

Plummeting downward, chilled through the bone.
Baggage long carried, heavy, weighting me down.
Dampness constantly increases, sanity near blown.
Have to let go, before the bottom, I'll surely drown.

All I can see, peering up from where I have come.
Fight I must, knowing, light is up, wanting to go back.
To that tiny point of light, will I this time succumb?
Struggling, needing to release this overbearing pack.

Contorted, restraining straps slip from my shoulders.
Descent slows, coming to a stop, floating now, midair.
Freight gone, life's baggage falling away like boulders.
Suspended, letting lungs exhale, no longer in despair.

At last able to reflect and breathe, heart pounding, weightless.
Wondering to myself, how did I ever fall into the well this deep?
Permit darkness its grasp, grey matter lose all objectiveness?
Living yesterdays, full of self pity, dragging this garbage heap?

Mind clearing, heart slowed, needing to find a way to fight.
Be pragmatic, let go of unrealistic, impractical pipedreams.
Inflate my mind, live each day fully, happiness is my right.
Memories, keep only the good, rejoice, unite new regimes.

Open my heart, expand on living, give, don't expect to receive.
Burst the bubble, aim for the moon and stars, reach for the sun.
Feel the warmth and joy, like and love myself, start to believe.
Float toward the pinpoint bright, become my own favorite son.

Draw a new breath, overpower the darkness, soar into the sunlight.
Forgive myself for past indifference, live for everything I cherish.
Embrace my blessings, soak up nature's rewards, celebrate new flight.
Let no demons ride, venture not back into the well, or I will perish.