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Frustration and Confusion

"Response to being lied too"

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Frustration and Confusion

Screeching and hollering from the inner parts of my soul,
just another like every other,
and I think this fire may finally burn through.


How many times will it all come tumbling down
before I realize that this is it?
This is all that the world is and there is no hidden Gem.

 
When will I learn that the reason walls are built
is because others before me have realized what's taking me so long?
The only way to stay warm, is to fight off the cold.

 
Let me get a spoon,
so I can force feed you my silly fancies of a world with peace,
and you can choke on all your lies.


My sensitivity is my biggest weakness,
it draws those with harsh intentions closer
I think they like to watch as I burn.


Maybe I can learn to use the shaking to fuel me.
Maybe this time it will be enough to move me.
What will it take to finally wake me?

 
Losing myself in a desire to flee,
but nowhere will ever be far enough.
All these problems will just follow me.

 
I am the product of all that I have seen.
All these places and faces have shaped me,
I want out of this catastrophe.


At least at the end of the day,
when I feel like there is nothing left,
I can force these words to leave me.

 
I suppose I can find peace in knowing that I still have it.
Call it from a mile,
yet know I'll lose it, because I'll run for it.


So tired of hearing what people want to tell me.
Frightened of my inability to hear what I need to.
Someone smack me so I can come back from this dream.


Oh serotonin, please work your magic,
because I am feeling slightly depleted,
and my fire is nearly diminished.

 
Thank you for my ability to articulate
in order for me to release and express
that which otherwise would kill me.

Published 
Written by scotiaWillow
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