In the pond at the park swims a duck,
A sweet creature with plenty of pluck,
To swim in water so cold
Is fine if you're bold,
Or covered in down - what luck!
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The limerick thread
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Active Ink Slinger
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When the pike said "I love" to the eel
the poor creature believed it was real
in her state of true bliss
she decided to kiss
and found that pikes really do love... a meal
the poor creature believed it was real
in her state of true bliss
she decided to kiss
and found that pikes really do love... a meal
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
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The poor pike spoke his love to the eel,
She was happy and decided to steal
From the pike a first kiss,
At which the pike sparked with a hiss!
Kissing an electric eel is never ideal.
She was happy and decided to steal
From the pike a first kiss,
At which the pike sparked with a hiss!
Kissing an electric eel is never ideal.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by gypsy
The poor pike spoke his love to the eel,
She was happy and decided to steal
From the pike a first kiss,
At which the pike sparked with a hiss!
Kissing an electric eel is never ideal.
I love this one!
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Active Ink Slinger
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It's on the edge, but I couldn't resist .
There once was a man from GlenGallish
who found women a thing to abolish
but he did love all boys
for they could with their toys
give his hem'roids the ultimate polish
There once was a man from GlenGallish
who found women a thing to abolish
but he did love all boys
for they could with their toys
give his hem'roids the ultimate polish
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Lurker
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Collywobbles Collywobbles
Inside of me causing trouble
Tickle me oh please
Don't be just a tease
Butterflies don't be so humble
Inside of me causing trouble
Tickle me oh please
Don't be just a tease
Butterflies don't be so humble
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Quote by paulusQuote by gypsy
The poor pike spoke his love to the eel,
She was happy and decided to steal
From the pike a first kiss,
At which the pike sparked with a hiss!
Kissing an electric eel is never ideal.
I love this one!
Thank you! When I read yours, I was anticipating that it would be an electric eel, but it didn't turn out that way. Instead, it left the way open for my follow-up, which was fun.
Lurker
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Lurker
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Quote by paulus
To use rhyme to relate of your friction
is okay, but take care of your diction
because we all are adult
and I'd hate the result
if the language would lead to eviction
To compromise is a sign of maturity
Of acceptance there is no firm surety
From minds closed and small
A head banged against a wall
Would gain a better result most assuredly!
Lurker
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When I see toes painted with pink
It lets me know they will not stink
Because simply they care
To give off some flare
After washing them I would think?
It lets me know they will not stink
Because simply they care
To give off some flare
After washing them I would think?
Lurker
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Quote by GIGGLES
When I see toes painted with pink
It lets me know they will not stink
Because simply they care
To give off some flare
After washing them I would think?
A giggle is a wonderful sound
From which smiles abound
On the faces who hear
A giggle give good cheer:
It's so wonderful to have you around!
Active Ink Slinger
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A sexy young woman from land's end
once pleasured herself with her hands and
she really had fun
but when she was done
she never found out where her pants went
once pleasured herself with her hands and
she really had fun
but when she was done
she never found out where her pants went
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Lurker
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Quote by paulus
A sexy young woman from land's end
once pleasured herself with her hands and
she really had fun
but when she was done
she never found out where her pants went
I know that lady, I say!
I came upon her that day
While she touched herself lightly
With her eyes shut so tightly
It was me who had her panties away!
Active Ink Slinger
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The wife of a poet in Shannon
Gave him something to put down his pen on
She said: you write beautif'lly
But if you still want me
You'd better start using your canon
Gave him something to put down his pen on
She said: you write beautif'lly
But if you still want me
You'd better start using your canon
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Lurker
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Lady Godiva, so it is said,
Caused Peeping Tom to blush bright red
With breasts proudly bared
Only Tom actually dared
To see if they were as grand as was said
Caused Peeping Tom to blush bright red
With breasts proudly bared
Only Tom actually dared
To see if they were as grand as was said
Lurker
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There was a young lady of Shannon
Who fired herself out of a cannon
She flew with great ease
Over the trees
And landed unharmed in Dungannon.
Who fired herself out of a cannon
She flew with great ease
Over the trees
And landed unharmed in Dungannon.
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Here's a question I thought seeing the responses would clear up. What is a limerick?
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Rebellious_SoulIf you go back to the beginning of the thread, there are a few posts explaining that. But I'll repeat that:
Here's a question I thought seeing the responses would clear up. What is a limerick?
A limerick is a small poem, consisting of five lines, adhering to the rhyme scheme AABBA.
They should have a metrum that goes something like
taDUMta taDUMta taDUMta for lines 1, 2 and 5 and
taDUMta taDUM for lines 3 and 4
or
tadaDUM tadaDUM tadaDUM for lines 1, 2 and 5 and
(ta)daDUM tadaDUM for 3 and 4
Limericks tend to be on the naughty side, but we have to restrain ourselves a bit here.
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Active Ink Slinger
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There once was a desparate hubby
who wanted to get to her nubby
He thought: "There is proof
Good tools need a roof
But I sure wish it wasn't this chubby"
who wanted to get to her nubby
He thought: "There is proof
Good tools need a roof
But I sure wish it wasn't this chubby"
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Lurker
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A young lady in her teen years
Decided to get over her fears
Of that secret place
That brought a blush to her face
And often reduced her to tears
After a few minutes of trying
She was heard to cry out "I'm dying!
Something's happened down there
And I no longer care
If I'm dreaming or if I'm flying
This feeling's too wonderful to top
I'm hoping that it will not stop
I'm as high as a kite
And I think I just might
Keep doing it until I just drop!"
Decided to get over her fears
Of that secret place
That brought a blush to her face
And often reduced her to tears
After a few minutes of trying
She was heard to cry out "I'm dying!
Something's happened down there
And I no longer care
If I'm dreaming or if I'm flying
This feeling's too wonderful to top
I'm hoping that it will not stop
I'm as high as a kite
And I think I just might
Keep doing it until I just drop!"
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by authorised1960
A young lady in her teen years
Decided to get over her fears
Of that secret place
That brought a blush to her face
And often reduced her to tears
After a few minutes of trying
She was heard to cry out "I'm dying!
Something's happened down there
And I no longer care
If I'm dreaming or if I'm flying
This feeling's too wonderful to top
I'm hoping that it will not stop
I'm as high as a kite
And I think I just might
Keep doing it until I just drop!"
brilliant
If life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
from Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Lurker
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A newbie came by here one day
With something amusing to say
He wrote it in rhyme
Now he's here all the time
I wish he would just go away!
With something amusing to say
He wrote it in rhyme
Now he's here all the time
I wish he would just go away!
Forum Facilitator
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WRITTEN ABOUT NOBODY IN PARTICULAR
You're a dick
and I'd like to flick
you in the face
with my mace,
but I can't, 'cause my neck has a crick.
You're a dick
and I'd like to flick
you in the face
with my mace,
but I can't, 'cause my neck has a crick.
Ghosts, flamingos, guitars and vodka. Eclectic subjects, eccentric stories:
Humorous guide & Recommended Read =^.^= How To Make a Cup of Tea
A flash fiction series :) A Random Moment in Time
Editors' Pick! :D I Am The Deep, Dark Woods
And another EP!: The Fragility of Age
=^.^=
Humorous guide & Recommended Read =^.^= How To Make a Cup of Tea
A flash fiction series :) A Random Moment in Time
Editors' Pick! :D I Am The Deep, Dark Woods
And another EP!: The Fragility of Age
=^.^=
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Quote by apemann1
A newbie came by here one day
With something amusing to say
He wrote it in rhyme
Now he's here all the time
I wish he would just go away!
Hello apemann1, and welcome!
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Quote by gypsyQuote by apemann1
A newbie came by here one day
With something amusing to say
He wrote it in rhyme
Now he's here all the time
I wish he would just go away!
What!? The poster has deleted his account?
WTF?
To the aforementioned apemann1, who appeared, posted, deleted, and it would seem, has rejoined: don't be so annoying, this is a respectable place, you were welcomed. Don't be an annoying, trolling irritation. And goodness knows, we so do not need such a thing here, now, or ever.
So to all those who amuse themselves by being annoying, take heed...
You dropped by here to give us a nod,
Were welcomed, than became 'guest' - annoying and odd,
A transient pest isn't dear,
The regular nuisance isn't near,
I suspect you're a miserable sod.
Lurker
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If everything in life was straighforward
How quickly we'd all become so bored
We'd argue and fight
All day and all night
Would any of it do any good?
How quickly we'd all become so bored
We'd argue and fight
All day and all night
Would any of it do any good?
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Quote by authorised1960
If everything in life was straighforward
How quickly we'd all become so bored
We'd argue and fight
All day and all night
Would any of it do any good?
That should be:
"If everything in life were straightforward", since it is the subjunctive voice that is employed here, as is defined by the use of 'if'.
The rest of it is hypothetical conjecture,
So don't waste your breath with a tedious lecture,
Insisting 'we' would argue and fight,
All day and all night,
Is mistaken, of that I am quite sure.
Lurker
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Quote by gypsyQuote by authorised1960
If everything in life was straighforward
How quickly we'd all become so bored
We'd argue and fight
All day and all night
Would any of it do any good?
That should be:
"If everything in life were straightforward", since it is the subjunctive voice that is employed here, as is defined by the use of 'if'.
The rest of it is hypothetical conjecture,
So don't waste your breath with a tedious lecture,
Insisting 'we' would argue and fight,
All day and all night,
Is mistaken, of that I am quite sure.
I thank you for your grammatical correction
and your summary rejection
Of an assertion made in jest
Now can we just let this rest
And engage in some private introspection?
Forum Facilitator
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I find myself bored,
by the constant hoard
of madness here,
so I'm drinking beer,
until I am floored.
by the constant hoard
of madness here,
so I'm drinking beer,
until I am floored.
Ghosts, flamingos, guitars and vodka. Eclectic subjects, eccentric stories:
Humorous guide & Recommended Read =^.^= How To Make a Cup of Tea
A flash fiction series :) A Random Moment in Time
Editors' Pick! :D I Am The Deep, Dark Woods
And another EP!: The Fragility of Age
=^.^=
Humorous guide & Recommended Read =^.^= How To Make a Cup of Tea
A flash fiction series :) A Random Moment in Time
Editors' Pick! :D I Am The Deep, Dark Woods
And another EP!: The Fragility of Age
=^.^=
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by Circle_Something
I find myself bored,
by the constant hoard
of madness here,
so I'm drinking beer,
until I am floored.
This is not a true limerick as it doesn't have the rhythm of a limerick. It would be better placed in the Random Poem thread.