4.1 Boys and Dolls “He who is not allowed to sit begins to understand the weight of every step.” — The Great Pmurttii 1951, New York, Brooklyn A cramped back office, full of papers, files, and rent books. The air was thick with cigarette smoke, dust, and the dry heat of a boiler somewhere deep in the building. A wooden desk sat against the wall. Victor Kane’s father was on the phone. Young Victor Kane sat cross-legged on...

The whole Is a radiant beauty There is nothing else to do here But look at this enchanting maze.

It was strange being a parent. Despite being a parent of three and having been a parent for almost two decades, it still felt like I was a pale imitation of my own parents. I didn’t know what it was, but I felt like an imposter pretending to be a parent rather than being the force of nature my father was: absolutely rock solid in being resolute. He was the law, and that was that. And it wasn’t because he was controlling o...

A haunting mignon. My sweet Musette, of darkness. A pale silhouette weeping on cold stones, in heaven’s crypt. Cracked by the frost of blind angels, carved from bones, bleeding in the rain With haloes. Trapped in a holy tomb of profane. My eternal call. Half dead, half alive walking on cracked bones. My reason to live. The glitter in the eye, when you are exhaustly tired. My sweet Musette. My eternal love. A haunting mign...

Three women who fall in love create an extended family. We are family … I got all my sisters with me … We are family … Women one, two and three … She and she and she … Had each lost much of her family … One temporarily … But the others they will never see … (Verse 1) Deployment, accident and Prejudice Had left them alone For above a year … And Each of them tried to deal with her sadness And accompanying fear … So One beca...

In the fountain of self love I drink Unapologetically I got thirst And I enjoy it.

I think I have to leave now I don’t think I can stay There is something deep inside me That’s guiding me this way It’s hard for me to say goodbye I don’t find it easy to do Especially when I made promises To always stay with you But I just can’t shake this feeling This feeling of unease It rumbles deep inside me Tells me space is what I need I want to say it’s my fault Take accountability and blame But, I’ll be really hon...

She says she is difficult And wishes it wasn’t so She longs to be ordinary Like all the others, you know? She needs the silence sometimes To recharge her beautiful mind She says she is needy And dislikes being so She longs to be normal What’s normal? Does anyone know? She needs the distractions sometimes To hide from feelings she fears She’s expert at changing the subject It’s a tactic she’s used for years and years She s...

I write verses One by one A poem. Look! Look what I found. I made it visible I made it electric I caught a glimpse of the eternal.

Weep no more, refugee, fingers of the willow through the mist canopy, where souls can rest and weave a cradle of a thousand reeds in the peace on the bayou, where the scent of leaves whisper a lullaby of refugee older than the memory of ghosts, on the Okefenokee.

I miss you I want to see your face When you are in the top of me Inside.

To be a Buddha is to be the memory of a mountain the silence of a ghost between two breaths. a flame in the lantern knowing the light is living a river that can sleep with hush of a thousand years with the pearl of and oyster's universe and the lotus in a pond of mahogany the wind is a brush painting a portrait of a ghost the moon a shadow of Michelangelo the stars a million diamonds in the dark and the eyes of a mirror r...

I missed you today But that’s nothing new I know that I shouldn’t It’s something I’m not supposed to do. I’m meant to forget you Just simply, move on But your presence still lingers Even after you’ve gone I think of the good times When things seemed to be well But, looking back, it feels an illusion? It’s not easy to tell I remember the person, who arrived in my space How they made me feel special, made my heart race I th...

Matariki, Pleiades – the seven daughters of Atlas as the Greeks used to say, or Subaru in the modern Japanese. Like the verb Subaru, in July, we cluster together to celebrate this wonder. We’ve left our group of 300 that three Hawaiian Air 717s had shifted us from Oahu to Kona, and got weird looks as we left the 30c hotel in winter clothes and later clustered with my partner and friends after making the four-hour ascent f...

Pacing. I’m pacing. There is an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel it frequently, it is a tenant of my body, it doesn’t pay rent, it claimed squatters' rights some time ago. The corridor is narrow and dim. It feels like a claustrophobic tunnel with the entry and exit blocked. The overhead lights flicker, they emit a soft hum and crackle, it’s barely audible but echos in the chasm. It’s quiet, so quiet, but st...