I have been told that I can become wordy when writing speeches or mission briefings.
How many words should a character presenting a briefing have before turning the briefing over to another character?
My own military experience says that the soldiers simply grit their teeth and remain silent until asked a question or for their oppinion. More so when the one presenting the briefing is two grades superior to your own. (doesnt mean what you've got to say is worthless, but your level of importances in rank commands your silence when you are the inferior rank) this of course means that the admiral can explain every thing that their sacrofices have resulted in, in exacting detail.
As it stands now, out of a speech of 500 (plus change) words, nearly 60% is actions, not words.
Example:
Admiral Johnson pointed the small remote to the holo-projectors and changed the images to show multiple image cells, each displayed worlds burnt to ashes and statistical casualty reports. "Had it not been for facilities like ours, the numbers in red would have been actual statistics and the numbers in blue theoretical."
In the book, facilities like the one the admiral speaks of, have done multiple task. I have him explaining the two most important task which have changed the dinamic of the hundred year war. The primary reason for this part of the briefing won't affect the immediate battle ahead, but rather is more about raising moral of the besieged troops. (they've been besieged for the last two years, without much in the way of rest, information from home, much less time off unless their equipment is in need of repair.)
In shot this admiral's speech is a moral booster speech, so to gather the attention of the war weary officers at the lower end of the spectrum and so that they can convey the message and then the plan of action to their troops with renewed moral.
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