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Rumple_deWriter
Over 90 days ago
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Here's an extreme example of using show instead of tell.
Faced with a scene in which a character falls down some stairs, the quickest way to describe the action is by 'telling' the reader, "He fell down the stairs."
That's not what the incomparable, P.G. Wodehouse decided to do. Instead of simply 'telling' the reader what happened, he 'showed' the incident.
"
With stealthy steps he crept to the head of the stairs and descended. One uses the verb “descend” advisedly, for what is required is some word suggesting instantaneous activity. But Baxter’s progress from the second floor to the first, there was nothing halting or hesitating. He, so to speak, did it now.
Planting his foot firmly on a golf ball which the Honorable Freddie Fleetwood who had been practicing putting in the corridor before retiring to bed had left in his casual fashion just where the stairs began, he took the entire staircase in one majestic vaulting sweep.
There were eleven stairs in all separating his landing from the landing below, and the only ones he hit were the third and tenth. He came to rest with a squattering thunk on the lower landing, and for a moment or two the fever of the chase left him."
P.G. Wodehouse “Leave It To Psmith”
Granted, that took more words, in fact, a lot more words, and following that example all the time would make "War and Peace" resemble a condensed novella next to your epic tome. Still, it was fun.
Faced with a scene in which a character falls down some stairs, the quickest way to describe the action is by 'telling' the reader, "He fell down the stairs."
That's not what the incomparable, P.G. Wodehouse decided to do. Instead of simply 'telling' the reader what happened, he 'showed' the incident.
"
With stealthy steps he crept to the head of the stairs and descended. One uses the verb “descend” advisedly, for what is required is some word suggesting instantaneous activity. But Baxter’s progress from the second floor to the first, there was nothing halting or hesitating. He, so to speak, did it now.
Planting his foot firmly on a golf ball which the Honorable Freddie Fleetwood who had been practicing putting in the corridor before retiring to bed had left in his casual fashion just where the stairs began, he took the entire staircase in one majestic vaulting sweep.
There were eleven stairs in all separating his landing from the landing below, and the only ones he hit were the third and tenth. He came to rest with a squattering thunk on the lower landing, and for a moment or two the fever of the chase left him."
P.G. Wodehouse “Leave It To Psmith”
Granted, that took more words, in fact, a lot more words, and following that example all the time would make "War and Peace" resemble a condensed novella next to your epic tome. Still, it was fun.
Thought the lexico...lexi...wordsmith-types among us might like to know that the, Oxford English Dictionary, (OED) now recognizes "manspreading," sort of.
My question is, should writer's use them in their stories?
Here's an excerpt from a BBC article.
"The Oxford Dictionaries said the addition of multiple slang words showed "creative" use of language. New words and phrases are added to the website once editors have enough independent evidence to be confident of their widespread currency in English. However, they do not gain an entry into the Oxford English Dictionary unless there is a demonstration of continued historical use."
Here are some of the new 'words'.
Manspreading - when a man sits with his legs wide apart on public transport encroaching on other seats
Bants - short for banter
NBD - abbreviation of no big deal
Hangry - adjective used to show feelings of anger or irritability as a result of hunger
Grexit and Brexit - the potential departure of the UK and Greece from the EU
Awesomesauce - to describe something as excellent
Weak sauce - anything of a poor or disappointing standard
Bruh - describing a male friend
Pocket dial - to accidentally call someone while your phone is in a pocket
Mkay - the informal pronunciation of OK
My question is, should writer's use them in their stories?
Here's an excerpt from a BBC article.
"The Oxford Dictionaries said the addition of multiple slang words showed "creative" use of language. New words and phrases are added to the website once editors have enough independent evidence to be confident of their widespread currency in English. However, they do not gain an entry into the Oxford English Dictionary unless there is a demonstration of continued historical use."
Here are some of the new 'words'.
Manspreading - when a man sits with his legs wide apart on public transport encroaching on other seats
Bants - short for banter
NBD - abbreviation of no big deal
Hangry - adjective used to show feelings of anger or irritability as a result of hunger
Grexit and Brexit - the potential departure of the UK and Greece from the EU
Awesomesauce - to describe something as excellent
Weak sauce - anything of a poor or disappointing standard
Bruh - describing a male friend
Pocket dial - to accidentally call someone while your phone is in a pocket
Mkay - the informal pronunciation of OK
A friend asked me about 'show vs tell'. Instead of taking up band width with my bloviation, here are a few thoughts on the subject by, Grammar Girl. Just one cautionary note: In my opinion, when it comes to writing commercial fiction, there is no 'right or wrong' only 'effective and less effective'. Therefore, approach with caution any advice that includes words such as "can't." RdW
===
What Does “Show, Don’t Tell” Mean?
By Mignon Fogarty,
Grammar Girl
Good writing tends to draw an image in the reader’s mind instead of just telling the reader what to think or believe.
Here’s a sentence that tells:
Mr. Bobweave was a fat, ungrateful old man.
That gets the information across, but it’s boring. It simply tells the reader the basics about Mr. Bobweave.
Here’s a way to create an image of Mr. Bobweave in the reader’s mind:
Mr. Bobweave heaved himself out of the chair. As his feet spread under his apple-like frame and his arthritic knees popped and cracked in objection, he pounded the floor with his cane while cursing that dreadful girl who was late again with his coffee.
In the second example, I didn’t tell you Mr. Bobweave is fat. I showed it by writing that his feet spread and describing his apple-like frame. I didn’t tell you Mr. Bobweave is old. I showed it by mentioning his arthritic knees, his cane, and that he has a girl who tends to him. I didn’t tell you he is ungrateful, but with the impatience of a pounding cane and his disdain for his caregiver, I got you thinking that he may not be a very nice man.
Next: Should you ever "Tell, instead of Showing"?
You may have noticed that it takes many more words to show rather than tell. A story that is filled with such detailed descriptions could become tiresome, so just as you mix long sentences with short sentences to create variety and keep your readers interested, it’s often wise to mix sections that show with sections that tell to keep your story moving.
Use Metaphors and Similes to Show Your Ideas
It’s often wise to mix sections that show with sections that tell.
Most of the descriptions I used in the last example were literal, but metaphors and similes also provide an interesting way to create an image for the reader. For example, if you want to say someone is huge and slow, you could use a simile about an elephant. You could say he saunters like an elephant, methodically forcing his path to a crowded watering hole.
If your protagonist is stealthy, you could use a simile about a falling leaf: She landed under the window like a leaf that had fallen from a tree.
===
What Does “Show, Don’t Tell” Mean?
By Mignon Fogarty,
Grammar Girl
Good writing tends to draw an image in the reader’s mind instead of just telling the reader what to think or believe.
Here’s a sentence that tells:
Mr. Bobweave was a fat, ungrateful old man.
That gets the information across, but it’s boring. It simply tells the reader the basics about Mr. Bobweave.
Here’s a way to create an image of Mr. Bobweave in the reader’s mind:
Mr. Bobweave heaved himself out of the chair. As his feet spread under his apple-like frame and his arthritic knees popped and cracked in objection, he pounded the floor with his cane while cursing that dreadful girl who was late again with his coffee.
In the second example, I didn’t tell you Mr. Bobweave is fat. I showed it by writing that his feet spread and describing his apple-like frame. I didn’t tell you Mr. Bobweave is old. I showed it by mentioning his arthritic knees, his cane, and that he has a girl who tends to him. I didn’t tell you he is ungrateful, but with the impatience of a pounding cane and his disdain for his caregiver, I got you thinking that he may not be a very nice man.
Next: Should you ever "Tell, instead of Showing"?
You may have noticed that it takes many more words to show rather than tell. A story that is filled with such detailed descriptions could become tiresome, so just as you mix long sentences with short sentences to create variety and keep your readers interested, it’s often wise to mix sections that show with sections that tell to keep your story moving.
Use Metaphors and Similes to Show Your Ideas
It’s often wise to mix sections that show with sections that tell.
Most of the descriptions I used in the last example were literal, but metaphors and similes also provide an interesting way to create an image for the reader. For example, if you want to say someone is huge and slow, you could use a simile about an elephant. You could say he saunters like an elephant, methodically forcing his path to a crowded watering hole.
If your protagonist is stealthy, you could use a simile about a falling leaf: She landed under the window like a leaf that had fallen from a tree.
Care to add some words you find overused by writers? My personel bug-a-boo is 'was', a word I'm prone to overusing. The problem is, 'was' serves as a red flag for passive prose and in today's market, passive is frowned upon by editors, agents and other riff-raff. Most of the time, replacing 'was' leads to stronger writing.
10 Overused Words in Writing
All words are good words. Some, however, are overused without adding value to what you write. As a result, they reduce the readers’ interest, make text seem redundant, and cause the writer to appear amateurish.
We have created a list of 10 overused words, based on the documents we have edited over the last 5 years. We don’t recommend that you remove these words from your writing. Instead, we recommend that you become aware of how often you use them and that you revise your documents to limit their use.
1. There
When writers are not sure about the subjects of their sentences, they will often use this word as the subject. This results in weak writing. (For advice on correcting this problem, see our article “Where Is There?”)
Example: “There was no one at home.” This can be revised as “No one was at home.”
youfingerpointing1 2. You
Writers often use this word when referring to general or reoccurring situations. “You” rarely refers to the reader and should be avoided.
Example: “Our grandmother was nice. She always gave you candy.” This can be revised as “Our grandmother was nice. She always gave us candy.”
3. If
Although “if” is a fine word, it is overused by writers trying to describe options and thought processes.
Example: “If she took the bus, she wouldn’t have time to stop by the grocery store.” This can be revised as “Taking the bus would leave her too little time to stop by the grocery store.”
4. When
Readers realize that actions can occur at the same time, which is what the word “when” indicates. Thus, “when” is usually unnecessary.
Example: “When she opened the door, she saw blood on the floor.” This can be revised as “She opened the door and saw the blood on the floor.” Some writers use “when” to describe actions that cannot occur at the same time, as in “When she woke up, she made coffee.” Actually, she first wakes up and then makes the coffee. This can be revised as “She woke up and made the coffee.”
5. As
We once worked on a book in which the author used this word repeatedly to describe the timing of actions, often 3 or 4 times in one paragraph.
Example: “He was shouting ‘Follow me!’ as he ran down the road.” This can be revised as “He ran down the road shouting ‘Follow me!’ ”
6. Very
Mark Twain made this comment about using “very”: “Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” “Very” is a crutch for finding the right word to describe what you mean to say. Find the right word.
Example: “He was very old.” This can be revised as “He was ancient.”
Also, in this example, you can simply write, “He was old,” and then provide text to further explain what you mean by “old.” For example, you could write, “He was old. He walked hesitantly, knowing that his brittle bones would surely break were he to stumble over an unseen obstacle.”
7. Really
Generally, this word can be removed without changing the meaning of a sentence. Anything that is true is also really true.
Example: “He was really nervous about speaking in public.” This can be revised as “He was nervous about speaking in public.” To show a greater degree, use a different word, as in “He was panicky about speaking in public” or “Public speaking scared him.”
8. Am/Is/Are/Was/Were (“to be” verbs)
Action verbs are always preferable to state-of-being verbs. Use words that describe the action occurring. Rather than saying what something/someone is, show the reader what something/someone does.
Example: “I am envious of her success.” This can be revised as “I envy her success.”
Example: “She was dressed in leather chaps and a flannel shirt.” This can be revised as “She wore leather chaps and a flannel shirt.”
9. So
See #7. “So” is also overused as a conjunction.
Example: “Her face was inches from his own, so he leaned forward and kissed her.” This can be revised as “Her face was inches from his own. He leaned forward and kissed her.”
10. Because
This word is overused to provide explanations. To fix this, use the word “and” with action verbs.
Example: “He wanted to go to the fair because his friends would be there.” This can be revised as “He wanted to go to the fair and meet with his friends.”
Example: “I want to leave because I am tired.” This can be revised as “I’m tired and want to leave.”
** taken from the, Precise Edits, blog
All words are good words. Some, however, are overused without adding value to what you write. As a result, they reduce the readers’ interest, make text seem redundant, and cause the writer to appear amateurish.
We have created a list of 10 overused words, based on the documents we have edited over the last 5 years. We don’t recommend that you remove these words from your writing. Instead, we recommend that you become aware of how often you use them and that you revise your documents to limit their use.
1. There
When writers are not sure about the subjects of their sentences, they will often use this word as the subject. This results in weak writing. (For advice on correcting this problem, see our article “Where Is There?”)
Example: “There was no one at home.” This can be revised as “No one was at home.”
youfingerpointing1 2. You
Writers often use this word when referring to general or reoccurring situations. “You” rarely refers to the reader and should be avoided.
Example: “Our grandmother was nice. She always gave you candy.” This can be revised as “Our grandmother was nice. She always gave us candy.”
3. If
Although “if” is a fine word, it is overused by writers trying to describe options and thought processes.
Example: “If she took the bus, she wouldn’t have time to stop by the grocery store.” This can be revised as “Taking the bus would leave her too little time to stop by the grocery store.”
4. When
Readers realize that actions can occur at the same time, which is what the word “when” indicates. Thus, “when” is usually unnecessary.
Example: “When she opened the door, she saw blood on the floor.” This can be revised as “She opened the door and saw the blood on the floor.” Some writers use “when” to describe actions that cannot occur at the same time, as in “When she woke up, she made coffee.” Actually, she first wakes up and then makes the coffee. This can be revised as “She woke up and made the coffee.”
5. As
We once worked on a book in which the author used this word repeatedly to describe the timing of actions, often 3 or 4 times in one paragraph.
Example: “He was shouting ‘Follow me!’ as he ran down the road.” This can be revised as “He ran down the road shouting ‘Follow me!’ ”
6. Very
Mark Twain made this comment about using “very”: “Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” “Very” is a crutch for finding the right word to describe what you mean to say. Find the right word.
Example: “He was very old.” This can be revised as “He was ancient.”
Also, in this example, you can simply write, “He was old,” and then provide text to further explain what you mean by “old.” For example, you could write, “He was old. He walked hesitantly, knowing that his brittle bones would surely break were he to stumble over an unseen obstacle.”
7. Really
Generally, this word can be removed without changing the meaning of a sentence. Anything that is true is also really true.
Example: “He was really nervous about speaking in public.” This can be revised as “He was nervous about speaking in public.” To show a greater degree, use a different word, as in “He was panicky about speaking in public” or “Public speaking scared him.”
8. Am/Is/Are/Was/Were (“to be” verbs)
Action verbs are always preferable to state-of-being verbs. Use words that describe the action occurring. Rather than saying what something/someone is, show the reader what something/someone does.
Example: “I am envious of her success.” This can be revised as “I envy her success.”
Example: “She was dressed in leather chaps and a flannel shirt.” This can be revised as “She wore leather chaps and a flannel shirt.”
9. So
See #7. “So” is also overused as a conjunction.
Example: “Her face was inches from his own, so he leaned forward and kissed her.” This can be revised as “Her face was inches from his own. He leaned forward and kissed her.”
10. Because
This word is overused to provide explanations. To fix this, use the word “and” with action verbs.
Example: “He wanted to go to the fair because his friends would be there.” This can be revised as “He wanted to go to the fair and meet with his friends.”
Example: “I want to leave because I am tired.” This can be revised as “I’m tired and want to leave.”
** taken from the, Precise Edits, blog
'Magnets & Ladders' is a literary journal created to highlight the work of writers with disabilities. Submit some of your poetry or prose. The folks at, M&L, are nice and won't bite, probably. bf
It is time to start thinking about submitting your work for the
Fall/Winter edition of Magnets and Ladders. The deadline for submissions is
August 15. Below are our submission guidelines taken from the Magnets and
Ladders website at: Http://www.magnetsandladders.org
Please read the guidelines carefully, as some things have changed. Pay
close attention to the section on being sure that you are submitting your
final draft.
Submission Guidelines
Writers with disabilities may submit up to three selections per issue.
Deadlines are February 15 for the Spring/Summer issue, and August 15 for
the Fall/winter issue. Writers must disclose their disability in their
biography or in their work. Biographies may be up to 100 words in length,
and should be written in third-person.
Do not submit until your piece is ready to be considered for publication.
Rewrites, additions, deletions, or corrections are part of the editorial
process, and will be suggested or initiated by the editor.
Poetry maximum length is 50 lines. Memoir, fiction, and nonfiction maximum
length is 2500 words. In all instances, our preference is for shorter
lengths than the maximum allowed. Please single-space all submissions, and
use a blank line to separate paragraphs and stanzas. It is important to
spell check and proofread all entries. Previously published material and
simultaneous submissions are permitted provided you own the copyright to
the work. Please cite previous publisher and/or notify if work is accepted
elsewhere.
We do not feature advocacy, activist, "how-to," or "what's new" articles
regarding disabilities. Innovative techniques for better writing as well as
publication success stories are welcome. Content will include many genres
with limited attention to the disability theme.
It is time to start thinking about submitting your work for the
Fall/Winter edition of Magnets and Ladders. The deadline for submissions is
August 15. Below are our submission guidelines taken from the Magnets and
Ladders website at: Http://www.magnetsandladders.org
Please read the guidelines carefully, as some things have changed. Pay
close attention to the section on being sure that you are submitting your
final draft.
Submission Guidelines
Writers with disabilities may submit up to three selections per issue.
Deadlines are February 15 for the Spring/Summer issue, and August 15 for
the Fall/winter issue. Writers must disclose their disability in their
biography or in their work. Biographies may be up to 100 words in length,
and should be written in third-person.
Do not submit until your piece is ready to be considered for publication.
Rewrites, additions, deletions, or corrections are part of the editorial
process, and will be suggested or initiated by the editor.
Poetry maximum length is 50 lines. Memoir, fiction, and nonfiction maximum
length is 2500 words. In all instances, our preference is for shorter
lengths than the maximum allowed. Please single-space all submissions, and
use a blank line to separate paragraphs and stanzas. It is important to
spell check and proofread all entries. Previously published material and
simultaneous submissions are permitted provided you own the copyright to
the work. Please cite previous publisher and/or notify if work is accepted
elsewhere.
We do not feature advocacy, activist, "how-to," or "what's new" articles
regarding disabilities. Innovative techniques for better writing as well as
publication success stories are welcome. Content will include many genres
with limited attention to the disability theme.
Everyone who has been losing sleep wondering what the heck is the difference between, Thee, Thou, Thy, and Thine, can now prepare for a good sleep for here is the answer.
No need for thanks. I just knew this crowd would want to know.
***
Thee, thou, and thine (or thy) are Early Modern English second person singular pronouns. Thou is the subject form (nominative), thee is the object form, and thy/thine is the possessive form.
Before they all merged into the catch-all form you, English second person pronouns distinguished between nominative and objective, as well as between singular and plural (or formal):
thou - singular informal, subject (Thou art here. = You are here.)
thee - singular informal, object (He gave it to thee.)
ye - plural or formal, subject
you - plural or formal, object
Interestingly, when the first English translations of the Bible were being made, the informal thee and thou were used specifically in reference to God to indicate an approachable, familiar God, but as the language changed this paradoxically brought thee and thou to sound more formal to the modern English speaker.
***
Just another fine free service of:
NO HOPE of PROFITABLE PUBLICATION, Inc.
No need for thanks. I just knew this crowd would want to know.
***
Thee, thou, and thine (or thy) are Early Modern English second person singular pronouns. Thou is the subject form (nominative), thee is the object form, and thy/thine is the possessive form.
Before they all merged into the catch-all form you, English second person pronouns distinguished between nominative and objective, as well as between singular and plural (or formal):
thou - singular informal, subject (Thou art here. = You are here.)
thee - singular informal, object (He gave it to thee.)
ye - plural or formal, subject
you - plural or formal, object
Interestingly, when the first English translations of the Bible were being made, the informal thee and thou were used specifically in reference to God to indicate an approachable, familiar God, but as the language changed this paradoxically brought thee and thou to sound more formal to the modern English speaker.
***
Just another fine free service of:
NO HOPE of PROFITABLE PUBLICATION, Inc.
Taken from the blog of fantasy writer, Neil Gaiman.
joseph-the-mop asked: I have been trying to write for a while now. I have all these amazing ideas, but its really hard getting my thoughts onto paper. Thus, my ideas never really come to fruition. Do you have any advice?
Neil Gaiman replies:
Write the ideas down. If they are going to be stories, try and tell the stories you would like to read. Finish the things you start to write. Do it a lot and you will be a writer. The only way to do it is to do it.
I’m just kidding. There are much easier ways of doing it. For example: On the top of a distant mountain there grows a tree with silver leaves. Once every year, at dawn on April 30th, this tree blossoms, with five flowers, and over the next hour each blossom becomes a berry, first a green berry, then black, then golden.
At the moment the five berries become golden, five white crows, who have been waiting on the mountain, and which you will have mistaken for snow, will swoop down on the tree, greedily stripping it of all its berries, and will fly off, laughing.
You must catch, with your bare hands, the smallest of the crows, and you must force it to give up the berry (the crows do not swallow the berries. They carry them far across the ocean, to an enchanter’s garden, to drop, one by one, into the mouth of his daughter, who will wake from her enchanted sleep only when a thousand such berries have been fed to her). When you have obtained the golden berry, you must place it under your tongue, and return directly to your home.
For the next week, you must speak to no-one, not even your loved ones or a highway patrol officer stopping you for speeding. Say nothing. Do not sleep. Let the berry sit beneath your tongue.
At midnight on the seventh day you must go to the highest place in your town (it is common to climb on roofs for this step) and, with the berry safely beneath your tongue, recite the whole of Fox in Socks. Do not let the berry slip from your tongue. Do not miss out any of the poem, or skip any of the bits of the Muddle Puddle Tweetle Poodle Beetle Noodle Bottle Paddle Battle.
Then, and only then, can you swallow the berry. You must return home as quickly as you can, for you have only half an hour at most before you fall into a deep sleep.
When you wake in the morning, you will be able to get your thoughts and ideas down onto the paper, and you will be a writer.
joseph-the-mop asked: I have been trying to write for a while now. I have all these amazing ideas, but its really hard getting my thoughts onto paper. Thus, my ideas never really come to fruition. Do you have any advice?
Neil Gaiman replies:
Write the ideas down. If they are going to be stories, try and tell the stories you would like to read. Finish the things you start to write. Do it a lot and you will be a writer. The only way to do it is to do it.
I’m just kidding. There are much easier ways of doing it. For example: On the top of a distant mountain there grows a tree with silver leaves. Once every year, at dawn on April 30th, this tree blossoms, with five flowers, and over the next hour each blossom becomes a berry, first a green berry, then black, then golden.
At the moment the five berries become golden, five white crows, who have been waiting on the mountain, and which you will have mistaken for snow, will swoop down on the tree, greedily stripping it of all its berries, and will fly off, laughing.
You must catch, with your bare hands, the smallest of the crows, and you must force it to give up the berry (the crows do not swallow the berries. They carry them far across the ocean, to an enchanter’s garden, to drop, one by one, into the mouth of his daughter, who will wake from her enchanted sleep only when a thousand such berries have been fed to her). When you have obtained the golden berry, you must place it under your tongue, and return directly to your home.
For the next week, you must speak to no-one, not even your loved ones or a highway patrol officer stopping you for speeding. Say nothing. Do not sleep. Let the berry sit beneath your tongue.
At midnight on the seventh day you must go to the highest place in your town (it is common to climb on roofs for this step) and, with the berry safely beneath your tongue, recite the whole of Fox in Socks. Do not let the berry slip from your tongue. Do not miss out any of the poem, or skip any of the bits of the Muddle Puddle Tweetle Poodle Beetle Noodle Bottle Paddle Battle.
Then, and only then, can you swallow the berry. You must return home as quickly as you can, for you have only half an hour at most before you fall into a deep sleep.
When you wake in the morning, you will be able to get your thoughts and ideas down onto the paper, and you will be a writer.
Magnets and Ladders is a lit site designed to showcase the work of writers with disabilities. For their spg/sum issue, they will accept up to three short pieces of fiction, non-fiction, or poetry. There is no payment except a small cash prize for the two best pieces in the three categories. They can be found at, magnets and ladders.org . Here’s an excerpt from their submission info..
Disabled writers may submit up to three selections per issue. Deadlines are
February 15 for the Spring/Summer issue, and August 15 for the Fall/winter
issue. Writers must disclose their disability in their biography or in
their work. Biographies may be up to 100 words in length, and should be
written in third-person.
+++
I’d say they were open to any disabilities, but at the moment I’m not sure about their attitude toward: alcoholism and/or moral turpitude. Sorry, Brother Martini.
Disabled writers may submit up to three selections per issue. Deadlines are
February 15 for the Spring/Summer issue, and August 15 for the Fall/winter
issue. Writers must disclose their disability in their biography or in
their work. Biographies may be up to 100 words in length, and should be
written in third-person.
+++
I’d say they were open to any disabilities, but at the moment I’m not sure about their attitude toward: alcoholism and/or moral turpitude. Sorry, Brother Martini.
After pontificating on the evils of adverbs to a remarkably patient fellow writer, I recalled this passage from, Stephen King’s, “On Writing,” (highly recommended) and thought I’d better pass them along to clear up any confusion I'd wrought.
The adverb is not your friend.
Adverbs … are words that modify verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs. They’re the ones that usually end in -ly. Adverbs, like the passive voice, seem to have been created with the timid writer in mind. … With adverbs, the writer usually tells us he or she is afraid he/she isn’t expressing himself/herself clearly, that he or she is not getting the point or the picture across.
Consider the sentence He closed the door firmly. It’s by no means a terrible sentence (at least it’s got an active verb going for it), but ask yourself if firmly really has to be there. You can argue that it expresses a degree of difference between He closed the door and He slammed the door, and you’ll get no argument from me … but what about context? What about all the enlightening (not to say emotionally moving) prose which came before He closed the door firmly? Shouldn’t this tell us how he closed the door? And if the foregoing prose does tell us, isn’t firmly an extra word? Isn’t it redundant?
Someone out there is now accusing me of being tiresome and anal-retentive. I deny it. I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs, and I will shout it from the rooftops.
To put it another way, they’re like dandelions. If you have one on your lawn, it looks pretty and unique. If you fail to root it out, however, you find five the next day . . . fifty the day after that . . . and then, my brothers and sisters, your lawn is totally, completely, and profligately covered with dandelions. By then you see them for the weeds they really are, but by then it’s — GASP!! — too late.
The adverb is not your friend.
Adverbs … are words that modify verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs. They’re the ones that usually end in -ly. Adverbs, like the passive voice, seem to have been created with the timid writer in mind. … With adverbs, the writer usually tells us he or she is afraid he/she isn’t expressing himself/herself clearly, that he or she is not getting the point or the picture across.
Consider the sentence He closed the door firmly. It’s by no means a terrible sentence (at least it’s got an active verb going for it), but ask yourself if firmly really has to be there. You can argue that it expresses a degree of difference between He closed the door and He slammed the door, and you’ll get no argument from me … but what about context? What about all the enlightening (not to say emotionally moving) prose which came before He closed the door firmly? Shouldn’t this tell us how he closed the door? And if the foregoing prose does tell us, isn’t firmly an extra word? Isn’t it redundant?
Someone out there is now accusing me of being tiresome and anal-retentive. I deny it. I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs, and I will shout it from the rooftops.
To put it another way, they’re like dandelions. If you have one on your lawn, it looks pretty and unique. If you fail to root it out, however, you find five the next day . . . fifty the day after that . . . and then, my brothers and sisters, your lawn is totally, completely, and profligately covered with dandelions. By then you see them for the weeds they really are, but by then it’s — GASP!! — too late.
Alan, not sure where that quote comes from, but it sounds good...I'll steal it...who'll know...right?
BTW, I'm either doing something wrong, or maybe not doing something right, could be both. Whatever the case, I can't figure out how to cpost any of my pithy story comments...a grievous loss to the world of literature and a burden unto my heart, honest.
Any suggestions?
BTW, I'm either doing something wrong, or maybe not doing something right, could be both. Whatever the case, I can't figure out how to cpost any of my pithy story comments...a grievous loss to the world of literature and a burden unto my heart, honest.
Any suggestions?