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Rumple_deWriter
Over 90 days ago
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United States

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The classic example of comma mis-use comes from the book, "Eats Shoots and Leaves."

I'll spare you the extended joke about a panda in a restaurant. Instead, imagine how the meaning of that phrase (east shoots and leaves) changes with two commas inserted.

It's just a matter of time. Your true blue friends, associates, and brown-nosers here at SS will be with you whether your stories make it to the best seller list or just bring in enough royalties to stock the bar.

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That's a very kind offer, Vanessa. Hope it attracts a bit more business to this underused new forum.

Not meaning to sound negative -- in fact, I'm pretty positive -- but this thread could set back the craft of writing to the Bulwar-Lytton era. smile

Rascal, IMHO you'd win the first place award if there was a 'Longest Sig Line Ever' contest. ;)

I once got a runner-up ribbon for tetherball at summer camp. Would that count?

So that's why agents keep turning down my two novels -- I don't have a thingy. (sigh) Wait a minute, what about being awake? I've found that very useful.But if that's the case, what about all those rejections? Oh, woe is I. Massive insecurity lurks. ;)

That roach should be named, Kafka.

The following is submitted for your consideration.



---

Elmore Leonard's Ten Rules of Writing
Easy on the Adverbs, Exclamation Points and Especially Hooptedoodle

from the New York Times, Writers on Writing Series.


Being a good author is a disappearing act.

By ELMORE LEONARD

These are rules I’ve picked up along the way to help me remain invisible when I’m writing a book, to help me show rather than tell what’s taking place in the story. If you have a facility for language and imagery and the sound of your voice pleases you, invisibility is not what you are after, and you can skip the rules. Still, you might look them over.


1. Openings

Never open a book with weather. If it’s only to create atmosphere, and not a character’s reaction to the weather, you don’t want to go on too long. The reader is apt to leaf ahead looking for people. There are exceptions. If you happen to be Barry Lopez, who has more ways to describe ice and snow than an Eskimo, you can do all the weather reporting you want.


2. Avoid prologues.

They can be annoying, especially a prologue following an introduction that comes after a foreword. But these are ordinarily found in nonfiction. A prologue in a novel is backstory, and you can drop it in anywhere you want.

There is a prologue in John Steinbeck’s “Sweet Thursday,” but it’s O.K. because a character in the book makes the point of what my rules are all about. He says: “I like a lot of talk in a book and I don’t like to have nobody tell me what the guy that’s talking looks like. I want to figure out what he looks like from the way he talks. . . . figure out what the guy’s thinking from what he says. I like some description but not too much of that. . . . Sometimes I want a book to break loose with a bunch of hooptedoodle. . . . Spin up some pretty words maybe or sing a little song with language. That’s nice. But I wish it was set aside so I don’t have to read it. I don’t want hooptedoodle to get mixed up with the story.”


3. Never use a verb other than “said” to carry dialogue.

The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But said is far less intrusive than grumbled, gasped, cautioned, lied. I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with “she asseverated,” and had to stop reading to get the dictionary.


4. Never use an adverb to modify the verb “said” . . .

. . . he admonished gravely. To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal sin. The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange. I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances “full of and adverbs.”


5. Keep your exclamation points under control.

You are allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose. If you have the knack of playing with exclaimers the way Tom Wolfe does, you can throw them in by the handful.


6. Never use the words “suddenly” or “all hell broke loose.”

This rule doesn’t require an explanation. I have noticed that writers who use “suddenly” tend to exercise less control in the application of exclamation points.


7. Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly.

Once you start spelling words in dialogue phonetically and loading the page with apostrophes, you won’t be able to stop. Notice the way Annie Proulx captures the flavor of Wyoming voices in her book of short stories “Close Range.”

8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.

Which Steinbeck covered. In Ernest Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants” what do the “American and the girl with him” look like? “She had taken off her hat and put it on the table.” That’s the only reference to a physical description in the story, and yet we see the couple and know them by their tones of voice, with not one adverb in sight.


9. Don’t go into great detail describing places and things.
Unless you’re Margaret Atwood and can paint scenes with language or write landscapes in the style of Jim Harrison. But even if you’re good at it, you don’t want descriptions that bring the action, the flow of the story, to a standstill.

And finally:


10. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.

A rule that came to mind in 1983. Think of what you skip reading a novel: thick paragraphs of prose you can see have too many words in them. What the writer is doing, he’s writing, perpetrating hooptedoodle, perhaps taking another shot at the weather, or has gone into the character’s head, and the reader either knows what the guy’s thinking or doesn’t care. I’ll bet you don’t skip dialogue.

My most important rule is one that sums up the 10.

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.

Or, if proper usage gets in the way, it may have to go. I can’t allow what we learned in English composition to disrupt the sound and rhythm of the narrative. It’s my attempt to remain invisible, not distract the reader from the story with obvious writing. (Joseph Conrad said something about words getting in the way of what you want to say.)

If I write in scenes and always from the point of view of a particular character—the one whose view best brings the scene to life—I’m able to concentrate on the voices of the characters telling you who they are and how they feel about what they see and what’s going on, and I’m nowhere in sight.

What Steinbeck did in “Sweet Thursday” was title his chapters as an indication, though obscure, of what they cover. “Whom the Gods Love They Drive Nuts” is one, “Lousy Wednesday” another. The third chapter is titled “Hooptedoodle 1” and the 38th chapter “Hooptedoodle 2” as warnings to the reader, as if Steinbeck is saying: “Here’s where you’ll see me taking flights of fancy with my writing, and it won’t get in the way of the story. Skip them if you want.”

“Sweet Thursday” came out in 1954, when I was just beginning to be published, and I’ve never forgotten that prologue.

Did I read the hooptedoodle chapters? Every word.
Veddy in-ter-esting. Maybe we should try our hand at, say: Peace and War by Leo Tolkien, or some such. smile
What Scooter said, me too. If someone I know asks for a 'constructive critique' I'll send it by PM.

SPELL CHECKER? What a concept. When will it be available. ;)

But seriously, folks. As I've harped before, IMHO there's only one, so-called, deadly, unbreakable rule for successful commercial fiction:

Don't bore the reader.

Sherzah,

It has just occured to me that a candidate for your list might be:

Don't write in the nude if there's a cat about who likes to jump, without warning, into your lap.

Just a thought.

"Death is only the beginning--afterward comes the hard part."

The Death Instinct, by Jed Rubenfeld

Good thread, Lisa. It'll be interesting to see the responses.

You are on your own.Word has it rumors are reportedly speeding along the great information highway that Zuckerberg has it in for you. No doubt he's envious of your wealth and fame. Sorry about that...seriously.

Way to go, 2B, on getting two pieces published!

Me, I couldn't get a single poem up on the restroom wall in a bus station. Congratulations.

Well put, CK.

This topic reminds me of that famous quote by Mark Twain:

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."

Maybe this is just me, but I've always avoided doing stories about root canals or constipation.

I've got a hunch the problem of overworked plots is worse for genre writers than for mainstream/general interest works.

That contest reminds me of a ditty the circulated back in the '60's when Pres. Johnson's wife, Lady Bird was campaigning to keep billboards off the rapidly expanding interstate highway system.

I think that I shall never see,
A billboard lovely as a tree.
And if they do not rot and fall,
I will not see a tree at all.

(many apologies to the ghost of Joyce Kilmer)

Having a blog is a bit like chicken soup; it may not help, but it can't hurt. Some/many agents have been known to Google an author they're interested in.

That Larssen series is a good read and gives you an interesting view into Swedish life. Too bad writing it apparently killed him.

Just finished, Red Rain, by Bruce Murkoff. Historical fiction set in a Hudson River town in the summer of 1864. Does a good job of bringing several plot lines together using multiple POV.

Yes, I know Pratchett writes 'Discworld' not 'Discman' books. So sue me, already. smile

:glasses8(blushing) :
Truth be told, I'm not sure. Different types of fiction have different rewards. Terry Pratchett's Discman series books always leave me in a better mood. The same is true with James McDonald Frazier's Flashmman historical romps. Dennis Franzen's Greendom left me in awe as that rarest of novels, a high-lit work that was also a good read. Re-reading something by Faulkner is like enjoying a great meal. And then there's non-fiction....