CKAcres's Profile

5 Jul 2013

Quote by rolandloops
Wonderful Stories, CK and Dc!

My wife Liz saw me laughing and asked, "What is so funny?"
I told her, "Zebras and penguins."
"What's so funny about that?" She asked.
"The penguins were wearing sunglasses." I replied.
She looked perplexed and asked, "What about the Zebra?"
I looked at her as straight faced as I could and said, "Put on some stripped pajamas and I will show you."
I then laughed even harder. She knew something was going on so she looked over my shoulder and read the jokes.
She then smacked me on the top of my head and used some of her colorful Cajun terminology on me.
I looked up and smiled and said, "So where are your stripped pajamas?"
Liz look me square in the eyes and gave me a peck on my forehead, then she said, "If you resembled a stallion in anyway, I wouldn't want to had any pajamas on."
She smiled, turned and walked away. I sat there crushed and scattered to the four winds.

Roland
That was so funny, I read your response to my wife, she gave me a look, lets say it wasn't perplexed, but she didn't uses any colorful Cajun terminology on me, then shook her head, laughed and I was able to read her mind. Whistle

She wasn't sure about the Penguins DC but I laughed and thought it was good, must be an old man thing. ;) ya think

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5 Jul 2013

CK hops back to the end of the line, the winner.

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5 Jul 2013

Hope this keeps the smiles going, for Roland and the rest of us, laughter can make this life much more enjoyable icon_smile

Hope it gets a smile or two.

Life After the Zoo

There was a zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo. She was getting older so the zoo keeper decided as a treat, she could spend her final years in comfort on a local farm.

Zebra was so excited when she arrived, to see huge open spaces, with green grass, surrounded by trees and hills, with not a cage, or fence to be seen.

Many strange looking animals were roaming around contentedly. None looked like her friends at the zoo.

She noticed a large strange looking reddish brown animal munching grass. Running over to it all excited, "Hi! I'm Zebra, who are you?" she blurted out. "I'm a cow" the brown animal answered. "Sweet, what do you do here?" Zebra asked. "I provide milk and other things for the farmer and his family, that's my job," said the cow. "Awesome!" Zebra exclaimed, "nice to meet you."

She then noticed a fluffy looking white bird, scratching and pecking away at the ground. Running over to it, skidding to a halt, Zebra again blurted out in her excitement, "Hi! I'm Zebra, who are you?" "I'm a chicken," the white bird replied. "Oh! what do you do here?" Zebra asked. "I lay eggs for the farmer and his family, that's my job, amongst other things." said the chicken.

"Been nice meeting you, see you around." Zebra shouted, as she turned, catching a glimpse of a much larger animal that looked somewhat the same as her, with the exception of size and color.

It was black, with a white star shape on it's forehead, and was walking straight toward her. He was a very handsome, well proportioned creature. She could see a definite glint in his eye. She was so excited, she could not move, just standing there as he approached.

Closing her eyes, when she opened them again, he was right in front of her, startling her a bit. "Hi, I'm Zebra," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "Who are you?"

"I am a Stallion," he said, with a powerful, deep voice, " pleasure to meet you, you're new here, aren't you?"

"Yes I just arrived," Zebra continued, her voice still quivering a bit. "You are very big and handsome, what is your job here?"

Sticking out his chest, stallion winked at her and replied. "Take off those striped pyjamas, I would be happy to show you."

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4 Jul 2013

Keep hopping froggy, this lily pad is mine.

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4 Jul 2013

Fuzzy you far to kind.

This man is always trying to cheer others up, he is an awesome friend.

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4 Jul 2013

reuse -> purse

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4 Jul 2013

iconography -> hybridization

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4 Jul 2013

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4 Jul 2013

Alberta

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4 Jul 2013

meal -> mead

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4 Jul 2013

Remus -> Rebus

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4 Jul 2013

Quote by rolandloops
A great joke Dave. I liked how it related with my writing about getting older. Wait this seems familiar. Did I already....... SHIT I did it again, I think.

I got it yes I did. Happens to me all of the time. scratch

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4 Jul 2013

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4 Jul 2013

Wish my American friends a Happy 4th of July. hello2

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4 Jul 2013

Enjoy..

A man in his late 70s is at the pub with a mate of his, discussing their respective wives. ‘Mine still thinks she’s a young woman.’
‘If you want to know how young she is, you could try this little trick. When you get home, ask her what’s for dinner from several distances.
Start at 30 feet, then 25 feet, then 20, and so on. The sooner she hears you, the younger she is.’
So, an hour later, the man arrives home and shouts, at a distance of about 30 feet from his wife: ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’ No answer.
He goes a bit closer. ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’ Still no answer. He goes closer, asks it again, no response…
When he’s finally standing in the doorway of the kitchen, about five feet away from his wife, he yells, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?!’
His wife turns around briskly and says, sounding irritated:
‘I’ve already told you three times now: chicken and mushrooms!’

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