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5 Jan 2015

I will always love my Cowboy

5 Jan 2015

Quote by paulus
A tiny ant bit in my arse as I sat on the ground
And asked me: "Will you lift that thing, for if I must go 'round"
"I'll need a lunchbox, big enough, to last a day, or two"
"And I just want to be home soon, so move, and let me through"

A bug upon a green leaf sat

Cautiously eyeing up a cat

Who, unaware of the bug's intentions

Continued with its cruel conventions:

Of catching a mouse then setting it free

Then leaping up it once more with glee

Until the terrified rodent gave up and died

Whereupon the cat just sighed

At which moment the bug took his chance

To lead the cat in a merry dance

With a graceful leap, far and clear,

He jumped straight into the cat's ear

And settled himself into the warmth right there

Amongst the wax and sensitive hair.

Caught on the hop and by complete surprise

You should have that wicked cat's eyes

At the realisation he'd been violated

By one of the smallest creatures ever created.

Not that it mattered, be it big or small,

That cat didn't want it there at all

Deep in the cat's ear the bug was secure

Meaning that the cat would have to endure

The bug living off him as a parasite

The cat thought it just was not right

It was bad enough that ticks and fleas

Thought it was okay to do as they please

And use his flesh as a dining table

But at least with those pests he was able

To be rid of them with human intervention

But the bug in his ear defied all convention

It was something of a new experience

For a bug to take-up residence

With so much ease and with great success

It was causing the feline some distress

No matter how hard he shook his head

The annoying bug seemed to embed

Itself more securely in the desperate cat's ear

The half-crazed cat's cries were so sad to hear.

He whined and cried and pleaded in frustration

At his owner's ignorance of his situation.

The bug, ensconced in warmth and safety

Was as comfortable as a bug could be

Given the cat's efforts to evict him

An outcome that would surely be grim

Should the cat chance upon the defenceless insect

It was a scenario far too gruesome to project

However, the bug knew it was time to move on

But he had a point to make before he was gone

He said aloud in that cat's ear passage

"I am now about to assuage

The suffering you've endured all these hours.

I have demonstrated my limited powers

To show you how easy it is to be taunted

By a creature much less vaunted

In the kingdom of the animal

But you see how easily and quickly you fall

When your powers are effectively negated

By a tiny insect usually relegated

To the rank of parasite or pest

A neccessary annoyance at best

But you'll be having nightmares tonight

Of how easily I undermined your might

And drove you to the brink of insanity

Some might even call it cruelty

To behave towards you in that way

So this is what I have to say:

I saw you tease and terrify that little mouse,

The one you found hiding in your house

You thought that you were lord and master

As that terrified creature tried to run faster

To evade your evil, cruel and nasty ways

Before you brought an end to its happy days

By way of abject fear and complete misery

Well, you now know, thanks to me,

What that mouse suffered at your paws

And your nasty sharpened claws.

I don't have those weapons to call upon

To use to do what I want to get done

But I have my size, which you should fear

As I sit comfortably within your ear

For I'm telling you now, change your behaviour

And during this respite, remember and savour

For if you refuse to change your ways

Next time I visit it'll be for days and days

I know you won't want that, me in your head

You'll wish, I'm sure you, that were deaf or dead

I hope today a lesson had been learned

And a little respect has been earned.

I'm leaving now, but I'll always be near

To whisper reminders in your ear

Of the sincere vow that I have sworn

Change now or regret the day you were born!"

With that the bug left his host, sore ear stinging

And with the bug’s threats and words still ringing

The cat scampered away, somewhat subdued

While the tired bug went in search of food.

Pleased with what he had achieved

And just a little bit relieved

That things had turned out as they had

It could so easily have all turned bad.

There is only one more thing left to say:

Did that cat ever change his way?

(That’s another poem for another day!)

06/01/15 = Slightly edited to correct a couple of grammatical errors and a huge rhyme error!

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