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If you could only use one web site other than Stories Space for the rest of your life, which site would it be?
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rolandlytle
1 day ago
0 miles · Albemarle
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Uses guitar strings to floss with. Plays well while cleaning his teeth.
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Thanks Andrew. Back in the old days most of the comedians did albums. They would have done videos and DVDs, but there weren't any. Bill Cosby was one of the best and parents let their kids listen because he didn't use profanity.
Thank you too, Dave. Being an old time Trekkie, it was especially enjoyable.
The Enterprise crew went back in time and were staying at a hotel. Troi was walking up and down the hallway looking for her boyfriend as she yelled, "Worf! Worf! Worf!"
The manager got several complaints and went up to their floor. He heard Troi around the corner and saw Picard coming out of his room. He called to Picard, "Sir, we've had complaints. Can you please shut that bitch up."
Picard was upset by his derogatory language and said, "You can't speak to us this way."
The manager said, "I'm sorry to bother you sir, but you have to keep that bitch quite."
Picard was really pissed now and thought he needed to be taught a lesson. He calls his security chief to thrash the man and get him off their floor, "Worf!"
The manager rolls his eyes and says, "Oh no, now he's barking too."
Thank you too, Dave. Being an old time Trekkie, it was especially enjoyable.
The Enterprise crew went back in time and were staying at a hotel. Troi was walking up and down the hallway looking for her boyfriend as she yelled, "Worf! Worf! Worf!"
The manager got several complaints and went up to their floor. He heard Troi around the corner and saw Picard coming out of his room. He called to Picard, "Sir, we've had complaints. Can you please shut that bitch up."
Picard was upset by his derogatory language and said, "You can't speak to us this way."
The manager said, "I'm sorry to bother you sir, but you have to keep that bitch quite."
Picard was really pissed now and thought he needed to be taught a lesson. He calls his security chief to thrash the man and get him off their floor, "Worf!"
The manager rolls his eyes and says, "Oh no, now he's barking too."
Active Ink Slinger
Was the voice for Simon in Alvin and the Chipmunks until being fired for making rude gestures at the director's daughter.
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Same thing happened to me. My wife and I went to the bank. As we were leaving, we saw an envelope on the floor. It was full of money and a bank slip from the withdraw. We went to the teller and turned it in. They deposited it in her account. I couldn't live with myself if I took someones money. If I couldn't find whose money it was I would donate it to a charitable cause.
If you found out you would live to be 200 years old, would it change your approach to life?
If you found out you would live to be 200 years old, would it change your approach to life?
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Split-Personality Man! Then I could go and smite the evil-doers... no I won't. I'll just stay here. I don't care about the bad guys... yes I do. I shall smite the evil and make our wold safe for... no. I'm not leaving this room. I don't feel like it.
What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink?
What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink?
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I have many times. Yesterday Liz & I watched 8 episodes of 'Bones' and will probably watch 4-5 more today.
Would you ever eat canned food cold? I have.
Would you ever eat canned food cold? I have.
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Quote by Rebellious_Soul
Brought pirate back to life...
Yes I did, as a squirrel! I've heard from reliable sources that Rebel is a nut. Be careful Rebel, squirrels eat nuts.
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He and the two above him started an act together, but had to stop because of copy write infringement.
They were the three stoogers; Moette, Larry-Rick, and Curly T. I hear they were quite funny.
They were the three stoogers; Moette, Larry-Rick, and Curly T. I hear they were quite funny.
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He actually likes the Greek mythology but uses Norse references to throw us off.
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Our time share in the Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania. For one week a year, my wife and I get to live like rich people at a fraction of the cost that many others staying pay.
What profession would you like to be the best at? I'd sell my children to be an astronaut, if we had a space program.
What profession would you like to be the best at? I'd sell my children to be an astronaut, if we had a space program.
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Yes. In America, that is called a family reunion.
Would you undress down to your undies in public for a bet?
Would you undress down to your undies in public for a bet?
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two-door
Least favorite holiday, Arbor Day or Festivus or Sweetest Day?
Yes I know that is three, go with it, be different.
Least favorite holiday, Arbor Day or Festivus or Sweetest Day?
Yes I know that is three, go with it, be different.
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"The future ain't what it used to be."
Yogi Berra
(no not from the cartoons, the baseball player)
Yogi Berra
(no not from the cartoons, the baseball player)
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The Lego Movie (2014) I was stumped. I thought and thought and didn't remember this one. My daughter asked me what I was confused about. I told her. She told me the answer. I'm glad I didn't know this one. I'm not going to the Lego Movie.
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."
I've imitated this movie quote many time. One of my favorite one-liners.
To do it right, you act as though you are carrying a large lite stoggie in one hand, hunch down just a little bit, and move your eyebrows up and down during the punch line. I've got the voice pretty good to.
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."
I've imitated this movie quote many time. One of my favorite one-liners.
To do it right, you act as though you are carrying a large lite stoggie in one hand, hunch down just a little bit, and move your eyebrows up and down during the punch line. I've got the voice pretty good to.
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She has six toes on her left foot, but they are not webbed.
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I have many times, but I was only an average player and singer.
Would you ever spank your children?
Would you ever spank your children?
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There are so many seemly insurmountable problems in the world today, picking one is so hard and it depends where you are. One thing I would do here in America is unnecessary in most of the rest of the industrial societies. Medical care for everyone. I have worked only low paying minimum wage jobs for almost a decade. I have worked with people who have two jobs but can't afford even basic health care. They come to work on the verge of tears because they have a sick child at home and can't go to a doctor until payday, and then to afford even minor care and/or normal medications they must decide between which bills not to pay or try to make due with minimum dietary requirements. Eating two McDonald's $1 burgers a day because that only costs $60 a month is how people get real long term health problems. I know a man who broke his arm (fractured). He couldn't afford to get treatment. His arm was never the same. He wound up losing his job and home. I retired from the military. I receive outstanding medical care (no strings attached) for less than $100 a month for me and my wife. The medication I have to take to stay healthy and not die cost more than that a week, and my wife's medications are even more. If I had to get health care tomorrow to cover my families needs, it would cost me $700-800 a month. (about the same as my rent) EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ACCESS TO GOOD HEALTH CARE BASED UPON NEED AND NOT WEALTH!!! In Scotland I never saw that problem. The only places I have went that had people without access to good health care were third world countries. When I see children that play with my grandkids sick or hurt and unable to go to a doctor I am ashamed. It isn't right. Make any argument you want about cost and responsibility, but there is no rational argument for why a elderly person takes only half of the medication they need because to buy enough to take what they need they would have to go hungry. Then they die before their time. It isn't right.
Should schools be open all year?
Should schools be open all year?
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Leopard (all cats really)
How do you handle comments or advise to new authors?
How do you handle comments or advise to new authors?
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When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed
and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed.
It evens itself out.
Casey Stengel
and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed.
It evens itself out.
Casey Stengel
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I find it interesting how people will hide their real feelings about a person 'to be nice' and when the person is not there they don't seem to mind being less than nice. But what is even better are the innocent bystanders who passively watch it and allow it to happen. I've lost more than one friend by correcting them about what they said about a person when they were not there. For instance:
Jim (speaking with myself and two others listening) "You should have seen Bob at the game. He has a total lack of understanding of baseball strategy. He's dumber than a rock. The team would be so much better without him."
Jim (after friend Bob joined us) "It's too bad the coach doesn't think about baseball the way you do Bob. Maybe we'd have a better record. I was just telling everyone what a great head you have for the game." as he gives a little smile and glances at the other people who were there earlier.
Me "That's not what you said Jim. You said Bob didn't know shit about baseball and that we'd be better off without him because he's dumber as a rock."
Bob "Is that so Jim!" (he's pissed)
Jim "I never said anything like that. I didn't say you didn't know shit about baseball."
Bob "But Roland said you did. He's never lied to me and I know you talk behind peoples back all the time."
Jim "He's just jealous because I'm a better player than him." (no he wasn't, not even close and Bob knew it)
Bob "Is that true Roland?" (he's still pissed)
Me "No it's not this shithead is lying. I'm not jealous of a worthless second-stringer. Ask Al & Bill, they were here."
Al and Bill just stare at everyone but remain silent.
Bob "Well who's telling the truth. Al? Bill?"
Al "I didn't here anything. I don't know what they're talking about."
Bill "He didn't say you don't know shit about baseball, well not in those words."
Bob "I should kick your ass."
Me "For what? I'm the only one telling the truth."
Then Bob kicks my ass as Al & Bill slink away and Jim laughs.
Later Bill tells Bob the truth. Bob comes to me and apologizes to me then tells me he can never trust me because if I would rat on Jim, I would probably rat on him.
I just don't understand how things work I guess. At least I was happy to find out that Bob kicked Al and Jim ass too. Four friends that I was never close to again. Was I right? Was I a rat?
There is an old saying, 'The person who rocks the boat is usually the first one wet."
I think about things like this and realize how much I don't really understand about people. I can usually logically explain why the people do what they do. Intellectually I understand, but in my heart I just don't get it.
Jim (speaking with myself and two others listening) "You should have seen Bob at the game. He has a total lack of understanding of baseball strategy. He's dumber than a rock. The team would be so much better without him."
Jim (after friend Bob joined us) "It's too bad the coach doesn't think about baseball the way you do Bob. Maybe we'd have a better record. I was just telling everyone what a great head you have for the game." as he gives a little smile and glances at the other people who were there earlier.
Me "That's not what you said Jim. You said Bob didn't know shit about baseball and that we'd be better off without him because he's dumber as a rock."
Bob "Is that so Jim!" (he's pissed)
Jim "I never said anything like that. I didn't say you didn't know shit about baseball."
Bob "But Roland said you did. He's never lied to me and I know you talk behind peoples back all the time."
Jim "He's just jealous because I'm a better player than him." (no he wasn't, not even close and Bob knew it)
Bob "Is that true Roland?" (he's still pissed)
Me "No it's not this shithead is lying. I'm not jealous of a worthless second-stringer. Ask Al & Bill, they were here."
Al and Bill just stare at everyone but remain silent.
Bob "Well who's telling the truth. Al? Bill?"
Al "I didn't here anything. I don't know what they're talking about."
Bill "He didn't say you don't know shit about baseball, well not in those words."
Bob "I should kick your ass."
Me "For what? I'm the only one telling the truth."
Then Bob kicks my ass as Al & Bill slink away and Jim laughs.
Later Bill tells Bob the truth. Bob comes to me and apologizes to me then tells me he can never trust me because if I would rat on Jim, I would probably rat on him.
I just don't understand how things work I guess. At least I was happy to find out that Bob kicked Al and Jim ass too. Four friends that I was never close to again. Was I right? Was I a rat?
There is an old saying, 'The person who rocks the boat is usually the first one wet."
I think about things like this and realize how much I don't really understand about people. I can usually logically explain why the people do what they do. Intellectually I understand, but in my heart I just don't get it.
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Giant (1956)
"There's no crying in baseball!"
I can't believe how easy this one is!
"There's no crying in baseball!"
I can't believe how easy this one is!
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A politician with scruples, morals and a will to help others.
If you made your own political party, what would it be called? (My favorite was in Great Britain in the 80's called 'Official Monster Raving Loony Party')
If you made your own political party, what would it be called? (My favorite was in Great Britain in the 80's called 'Official Monster Raving Loony Party')