two-door
Least favorite holiday, Arbor Day or Festivus or Sweetest Day?
Yes I know that is three, go with it, be different.
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rolandlytle
10 hours ago
0 miles · Albemarle
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"The future ain't what it used to be."
Yogi Berra
(no not from the cartoons, the baseball player)
Yogi Berra
(no not from the cartoons, the baseball player)
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The Lego Movie (2014) I was stumped. I thought and thought and didn't remember this one. My daughter asked me what I was confused about. I told her. She told me the answer. I'm glad I didn't know this one. I'm not going to the Lego Movie.
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."
I've imitated this movie quote many time. One of my favorite one-liners.
To do it right, you act as though you are carrying a large lite stoggie in one hand, hunch down just a little bit, and move your eyebrows up and down during the punch line. I've got the voice pretty good to.
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."
I've imitated this movie quote many time. One of my favorite one-liners.
To do it right, you act as though you are carrying a large lite stoggie in one hand, hunch down just a little bit, and move your eyebrows up and down during the punch line. I've got the voice pretty good to.
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She has six toes on her left foot, but they are not webbed.
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I have many times, but I was only an average player and singer.
Would you ever spank your children?
Would you ever spank your children?
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There are so many seemly insurmountable problems in the world today, picking one is so hard and it depends where you are. One thing I would do here in America is unnecessary in most of the rest of the industrial societies. Medical care for everyone. I have worked only low paying minimum wage jobs for almost a decade. I have worked with people who have two jobs but can't afford even basic health care. They come to work on the verge of tears because they have a sick child at home and can't go to a doctor until payday, and then to afford even minor care and/or normal medications they must decide between which bills not to pay or try to make due with minimum dietary requirements. Eating two McDonald's $1 burgers a day because that only costs $60 a month is how people get real long term health problems. I know a man who broke his arm (fractured). He couldn't afford to get treatment. His arm was never the same. He wound up losing his job and home. I retired from the military. I receive outstanding medical care (no strings attached) for less than $100 a month for me and my wife. The medication I have to take to stay healthy and not die cost more than that a week, and my wife's medications are even more. If I had to get health care tomorrow to cover my families needs, it would cost me $700-800 a month. (about the same as my rent) EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ACCESS TO GOOD HEALTH CARE BASED UPON NEED AND NOT WEALTH!!! In Scotland I never saw that problem. The only places I have went that had people without access to good health care were third world countries. When I see children that play with my grandkids sick or hurt and unable to go to a doctor I am ashamed. It isn't right. Make any argument you want about cost and responsibility, but there is no rational argument for why a elderly person takes only half of the medication they need because to buy enough to take what they need they would have to go hungry. Then they die before their time. It isn't right.
Should schools be open all year?
Should schools be open all year?
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Leopard (all cats really)
How do you handle comments or advise to new authors?
How do you handle comments or advise to new authors?
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When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed
and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed.
It evens itself out.
Casey Stengel
and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed.
It evens itself out.
Casey Stengel
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I find it interesting how people will hide their real feelings about a person 'to be nice' and when the person is not there they don't seem to mind being less than nice. But what is even better are the innocent bystanders who passively watch it and allow it to happen. I've lost more than one friend by correcting them about what they said about a person when they were not there. For instance:
Jim (speaking with myself and two others listening) "You should have seen Bob at the game. He has a total lack of understanding of baseball strategy. He's dumber than a rock. The team would be so much better without him."
Jim (after friend Bob joined us) "It's too bad the coach doesn't think about baseball the way you do Bob. Maybe we'd have a better record. I was just telling everyone what a great head you have for the game." as he gives a little smile and glances at the other people who were there earlier.
Me "That's not what you said Jim. You said Bob didn't know shit about baseball and that we'd be better off without him because he's dumber as a rock."
Bob "Is that so Jim!" (he's pissed)
Jim "I never said anything like that. I didn't say you didn't know shit about baseball."
Bob "But Roland said you did. He's never lied to me and I know you talk behind peoples back all the time."
Jim "He's just jealous because I'm a better player than him." (no he wasn't, not even close and Bob knew it)
Bob "Is that true Roland?" (he's still pissed)
Me "No it's not this shithead is lying. I'm not jealous of a worthless second-stringer. Ask Al & Bill, they were here."
Al and Bill just stare at everyone but remain silent.
Bob "Well who's telling the truth. Al? Bill?"
Al "I didn't here anything. I don't know what they're talking about."
Bill "He didn't say you don't know shit about baseball, well not in those words."
Bob "I should kick your ass."
Me "For what? I'm the only one telling the truth."
Then Bob kicks my ass as Al & Bill slink away and Jim laughs.
Later Bill tells Bob the truth. Bob comes to me and apologizes to me then tells me he can never trust me because if I would rat on Jim, I would probably rat on him.
I just don't understand how things work I guess. At least I was happy to find out that Bob kicked Al and Jim ass too. Four friends that I was never close to again. Was I right? Was I a rat?
There is an old saying, 'The person who rocks the boat is usually the first one wet."
I think about things like this and realize how much I don't really understand about people. I can usually logically explain why the people do what they do. Intellectually I understand, but in my heart I just don't get it.
Jim (speaking with myself and two others listening) "You should have seen Bob at the game. He has a total lack of understanding of baseball strategy. He's dumber than a rock. The team would be so much better without him."
Jim (after friend Bob joined us) "It's too bad the coach doesn't think about baseball the way you do Bob. Maybe we'd have a better record. I was just telling everyone what a great head you have for the game." as he gives a little smile and glances at the other people who were there earlier.
Me "That's not what you said Jim. You said Bob didn't know shit about baseball and that we'd be better off without him because he's dumber as a rock."
Bob "Is that so Jim!" (he's pissed)
Jim "I never said anything like that. I didn't say you didn't know shit about baseball."
Bob "But Roland said you did. He's never lied to me and I know you talk behind peoples back all the time."
Jim "He's just jealous because I'm a better player than him." (no he wasn't, not even close and Bob knew it)
Bob "Is that true Roland?" (he's still pissed)
Me "No it's not this shithead is lying. I'm not jealous of a worthless second-stringer. Ask Al & Bill, they were here."
Al and Bill just stare at everyone but remain silent.
Bob "Well who's telling the truth. Al? Bill?"
Al "I didn't here anything. I don't know what they're talking about."
Bill "He didn't say you don't know shit about baseball, well not in those words."
Bob "I should kick your ass."
Me "For what? I'm the only one telling the truth."
Then Bob kicks my ass as Al & Bill slink away and Jim laughs.
Later Bill tells Bob the truth. Bob comes to me and apologizes to me then tells me he can never trust me because if I would rat on Jim, I would probably rat on him.
I just don't understand how things work I guess. At least I was happy to find out that Bob kicked Al and Jim ass too. Four friends that I was never close to again. Was I right? Was I a rat?
There is an old saying, 'The person who rocks the boat is usually the first one wet."
I think about things like this and realize how much I don't really understand about people. I can usually logically explain why the people do what they do. Intellectually I understand, but in my heart I just don't get it.
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Giant (1956)
"There's no crying in baseball!"
I can't believe how easy this one is!
"There's no crying in baseball!"
I can't believe how easy this one is!
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A politician with scruples, morals and a will to help others.
If you made your own political party, what would it be called? (My favorite was in Great Britain in the 80's called 'Official Monster Raving Loony Party')
If you made your own political party, what would it be called? (My favorite was in Great Britain in the 80's called 'Official Monster Raving Loony Party')
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Oops.... We did the same one. Robin Williams, no contest. George Carlin was the only of his peers to be close.
worse number to have as an address, 13 or 666
worse number to have as an address, 13 or 666
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mountains (at my age and weight, I'm not welcome anywhere in swimwear)
worse number to have as an address, 13 or 666
worse number to have as an address, 13 or 666
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Originally thought of calling himself thighmaster because of his love of Suzanne Somers.
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Manga's are comics from Japan. If I say comic book it means I like both! Ha Ha Dr. Hyde, put that one in your pipe and smoke it!!
What is more annoying, someone who asks you to choose between two thing that are the same or someone who gives them a hard time because they did it?
What is more annoying, someone who asks you to choose between two thing that are the same or someone who gives them a hard time because they did it?
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I was a fun drunk, but haven't imbibed that much since the early 90's.
If there were no legal consequences, would you choose alcohol or marijuana?
If there were no legal consequences, would you choose alcohol or marijuana?
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Tesseract, the more dimensions I get to play with the more I like it.
Do you pay attention to which hand is a person's dominate hand? (This isn't as dumb a question as it may seem, it has been used to start lectures on why there is hope for our future.)
Do you pay attention to which hand is a person's dominate hand? (This isn't as dumb a question as it may seem, it has been used to start lectures on why there is hope for our future.)
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Depends, you didn't specify in a theater or at home. Friend at theater and home with lover. (a Santa kind of Movie, you know, something naughty would be nice)
Puns, are they funny or irritating?
Puns, are they funny or irritating?
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I'm a Jack drinker (when I was allowed), but if I only had those chooses screwdriver. Can the hold the orange juice, I'd rather drink it straight.
Ice tea or herbal tea?
Ice tea or herbal tea?
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We dangle one person over the side of the ship by his feet off the coast of Maryland. He had been a bad roommate, but he did much better after that.
Are you ticklish?
Are you ticklish?
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“Maybe they know what I know, that the true way to a man's heart is six inches of metal between his ribs. Sometimes four inches will do the job, but to be really sure, I like to have six. Funny how phallic objects are always more useful the bigger they are.
Anyone who tells you size doesn't matter has been seeing too many small knives.” ― Anita Blake (fictional character by Laurell K. Hamilton), Narcissus in Chains
Anyone who tells you size doesn't matter has been seeing too many small knives.” ― Anita Blake (fictional character by Laurell K. Hamilton), Narcissus in Chains
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I can't believe no one got this one. I waited 3 days to give everyone a chance. Young Frankenstein (1974). What a great, great funny movie!
Don't go crazy on this one. (pun as a hint)
"A boy's best friend is his mother."
Don't go crazy on this one. (pun as a hint)
"A boy's best friend is his mother."
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Scotsman. I spent a few years in Scotland and they were wonderful years. The people were great.
Which juice do you prefer, orange or grapefruit?
Which juice do you prefer, orange or grapefruit?
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Inuit, specifically from the Inupiatun dialect.
If you could have dinner and talk afterwards for the rest of the evening with one fictional character, who would it be?
If you could have dinner and talk afterwards for the rest of the evening with one fictional character, who would it be?
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What is the difference between writing beautiful soul-searching verse about my love, and rhyming about cutting wool off sheep?
One is sheer poetry and the other shear poetry.
One is sheer poetry and the other shear poetry.
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No.
Have you ever thought that you had to be adopted, because there is no way you are like those people who claim to be your parents?
Have you ever thought that you had to be adopted, because there is no way you are like those people who claim to be your parents?
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Larry that was a hard one for me. 'Laura' (1944)
Rebel, I'm not sure. I thought I heard lines like that on a new DVD my grandkids were watching. I think it might be 'Frozen', but I'm not sure.
Here is an easy one, but it does have a twist.
"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good."
This scene was in the trailer and was edited. It says "Greed is good."
Rebel, I'm not sure. I thought I heard lines like that on a new DVD my grandkids were watching. I think it might be 'Frozen', but I'm not sure.
Here is an easy one, but it does have a twist.
"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good."
This scene was in the trailer and was edited. It says "Greed is good."